Bello:  (Squats with A grunt on Bloom’s upturned face, puffing CIGARSMOKE, nursing A fat leg) I see Keating Clay is elected vicechairman of the Richmond asylum and by the by Guinness’s preference shares are at sixteen three quaffers.  Curse me for a fool that didn’t buy that lot Craig and Gardner told me about.  Just my infernal luck, curse it.  And that Goddamned outsider throwaway at twenty to one. (He quenches his cigar angrily on Bloom’s ear) Where’s that Goddamned cursed ashtray?

Bloom:  (Goaded, BUTTOCKSMOTHERED) O!  O!  Monsters!  Cruel one!

Bello:  Ask for that every ten minutes.  Beg.  Pray for it as you never prayed before. (He thrusts out A FIGGED fist and foul cigar) Here, kiss that.  Both.  Kiss. (He throws A leg astride and, pressing with HORSEMAN’S knees, calls in A hard voice) Gee up!  A cockhorse to Banbury cross.  I’ll ride him for the Eclipse stakes. (He bends sideways and squeezes his MOUNT’S testicles roughly, shouting) Ho!  Off we pop!  I’ll nurse you in proper fashion. (He HORSERIDES cockhorse, leaping in the saddle) The lady goes a pace a pace and the coachman goes a trot a trot and the gentleman goes a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop.

Florry:  (Pulls at Bello) Let me on him now.  You had enough.  I asked before you.

Zoe:  (Pulling at Florry) Me.  Me.  Are you not finished with him yet, suckeress?

Bloom:  (Stifling) Can’t.

Bello:  Well, I’m not.  Wait. (He holds in his breath) Curse it.  Here.  This bung’s about burst. (He UNCORKS himself behind:  Then, contorting his features, FARTS loudly) Take that! (He RECORKS himself) Yes, by Jingo, sixteen three quarters.

Bloom:  (A sweat breaking out over him) Not man. (He sniffs) Woman.

Bello:  (Stands up) No more blow hot and cold.  What you longed for has come to pass.  Henceforth you are unmanned and mine in earnest, a thing under the yoke.  Now for your punishment frock.  You will shed your male garments, you understand, Ruby Cohen? and don the shot silk luxuriously rustling over head and shoulders.  And quickly too!

Bloom:  (Shrinks) Silk, mistress said!  O crinkly! scrapy!  Must I tiptouch it with my nails?