sink, for the drivers seemed to be paralyzed with terror.  The very men who had heretofore found a great delight in trying to frighten me with tales of Indian atrocities were now themselves scared out of their wits.  Young and inexperienced though I was, I realized that to be now attacked by Indians meant to be slaughtered and scalped.  Some of the men were actually crying from fright, seeming to be completely demoralized.  I noticed how one of our men in loading his musket rammed home a slug of lead, forgetting his charge of powder entirely.  The sight of this disgusted me so that I became furious, and in the measure that my anger rose my fear subsided and vanished.  I railed at the poor fellow and abused and cursed him shamefully, threatening to kill him for being a coward and a fool.  I made him draw the bullet and reload his musket in a proper manner.

When I grew older I acquired the faculty to curb the instinctive feeling of fear which is inborn in all creatures and undoubtedly is a wise provision of nature, necessary to the continuance of life and conducive to self-preservation.  Knowing that all men who ever lived and all who now live must surely die, I failed to see anything particularly fearful in death.  I may truthfully say that I have several times met death face to face squarely and feared not.  On these occasions I tried not to escape what seemed to be my final doom, but in the dim consciousness of mind that I should be dead long enough anyway, I tried to delay my departure to a better life as long as possible, exerting myself exceedingly to accomplish this purpose.  Undoubtedly this must have made me a very undesirable person to contend with in a fight.  Luckily for me, I have never been afflicted with a quarrelsome or vindictive mind.  This is not a boastful or frivolous assertion, but is uttered in the spirit of thankfulness to the allwise Creator of Heaven and earth.

Looking around, I beheld a sight which cheered me mightily.  There, a few yards ahead of my wagon, was a great hole in the ground, made by badgers; or it may have been the palace of a king of prairie dogs.  Quickly I drove my team forward, right over it.  Then, pretending to be rearranging my cargo, I took out the end gate of my wagon and covered the hole with it.  Next, I wet some gunny sacks and placed them on the ground under the board.  Now, thought I, here is my chance for an honorable retreat if anything should go wrong.  I intended to close up the hole behind me with the wet sacks, taking the risk of snake bites in preference to the tender mercies of the Indians.  As these ground lairs take a turn a few feet down and are connected with various underground passages and have several outlets, I had a fair prospect to escape should the Indians discover my whereabouts, for they could neither burn nor smoke me out, and were not likely to take the time to reduce my fort by starvation.  It took me but a very short time to make my preparations, and I did it unnoticed by my companions, who seemed fully preoccupied with their own troubles.