North and South eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 692 pages of information about North and South.

North and South eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 692 pages of information about North and South.
hath but one way in which He can glorify Himself by thee.  He can do it by thy silence as well as by thy preaching; thy laying aside as well as thy continuance in thy work.  It is not pretence of doing God the greatest service, or performing the weightiest duty, that will excuse the least sin, though that sin capacitated or gave us the opportunity for doing that duty.  Thou wilt have little thanks, 0 my soul! if, when thou art charged with corrupting God’s worship, falsifying thy vows, thou pretendest a necessity for it in order to a continuance in the ministry.  As he read this, and glanced at much more which he did not read, he gained resolution for himself, and felt as if he too could be brave and firm in doing what he believed to be right; but as he ceased he heard Margaret’s low convulsive sob; and his courage sank down under the keen sense of suffering.

‘Margaret, dear!’ said he, drawing her closer, ’think of the early martyrs; think of the thousands who have suffered.’

‘But, father,’ said she, suddenly lifting up her flushed, tear-wet face, ’the early martyrs suffered for the truth, while you—­oh! dear, dear papa!’

‘I suffer for conscience’ sake, my child,’ said he, with a dignity that was only tremulous from the acute sensitiveness of his character; ’I must do what my conscience bids.  I have borne long with self-reproach that would have roused any mind less torpid and cowardly than mine.’  He shook his head as he went on.  ’Your poor mother’s fond wish, gratified at last in the mocking way in which over-fond wishes are too often fulfilled—­Sodom apples as they are—­has brought on this crisis, for which I ought to be, and I hope I am thankful.  It is not a month since the bishop offered me another living; if I had accepted it, I should have had to make a fresh declaration of conformity to the Liturgy at my institution.  Margaret, I tried to do it; I tried to content myself with simply refusing the additional preferment, and stopping quietly here,—­strangling my conscience now, as I had strained it before.  God forgive me!’

He rose and walked up and down the room, speaking low words of self-reproach and humiliation, of which Margaret was thankful to hear but few.  At last he said,

’Margaret, I return to the old sad burden we must leave Helstone.’

‘Yes!  I see.  But when?’

’I have written to the bishop—­I dare say I have told you so, but I forget things just now,’ said Mr. Hale, collapsing into his depressed manner as soon as he came to talk of hard matter-of-fact details, ’informing him of my intention to resign this vicarage.  He has been most kind; he has used arguments and expostulations, all in vain—­in vain.  They are but what I have tried upon myself, without avail.  I shall have to take my deed of resignation, and wait upon the bishop myself, to bid him farewell.  That will be a trial, but worse, far worse, will be the parting from my dear people.  There is a curate appointed to read prayers—­a Mr. Brown.  He will come to stay with us to-morrow.  Next Sunday I preach my farewell sermon.’

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North and South from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.