“So you would and must to any one, if you take up that calling.”

“But I should come to you, love, in quite a different way; I should go to you with my heart full of love—­so full that I am afraid I should be too anxious.”

“I almost wish I were ill, that I might make you come at once.”

“And I am almost ashamed to think how I should like you to be in some position in which I could show you how well I remember that day—­that terrible day in the school-room.  God bless you for it, Jemima!”

CHAPTER XXX

THE FORGED DEED

Mr. Wynne, the parish surgeon, was right.  He could and did obtain employment for Ruth as a sick nurse.  Her home was with the Bensons; every spare moment was given to Leonard and to them; but she was at the call of all the invalids in the town.  At first her work lay exclusively among the paupers.  At first, too, there was a recoil from many circumstances, which impressed upon her the most fully the physical sufferings of those whom she tended.  But she tried to lose the sense of these—­or rather to lessen them, and make them take their appointed places—­in thinking of the individuals themselves, as separate from their decaying frames; and all along she had enough self-command to control herself from expressing any sign of repugnance.  She allowed herself no nervous haste of movement or touch that should hurt the feelings of the poorest, most friendless creature, who ever lay a victim to disease.  There was no rough getting over of all the disagreeable and painful work of her employment.  When it was a lessening of pain to have the touch careful and delicate, and the ministration performed with gradual skill, Ruth thought of her charge, and not of herself.  As she had foretold, she found a use for all her powers.  The poor patients themselves were unconsciously gratified and soothed by her harmony and refinement of manner, voice, and gesture.  If this harmony and refinement had been merely superficial, it would not have had this balmy effect.  That arose from its being the true expression of a kind, modest, and humble spirit.  By degrees her reputation as a nurse spread upwards, and many sought her good offices who could well afford to pay for them.  Whatever remuneration was offered to her, she took it simply and without comment; for she felt that it was not hers to refuse; that it was, in fact, owing to the Bensons for her and her child’s subsistence.  She went wherever her services were first called for.  If the poor bricklayer, who broke both his legs in a fall from the scaffolding, sent for her when she was disengaged, she went and remained with him until he could spare her, let who would be the next claimant.  From the happy and prosperous in all but health she would occasionally beg off; when some one less happy and more friendless wished for her; and sometimes she would ask for a little money from Mr. Benson to give to such in their time of need.  But it was astonishing how much she was able to do without money.