could be easier than to convert a bathroom into a
bedroom, by the assistance of a little drapery to conceal
the shower-bath,” the string of which was to
be carefully concealed, for fear that the unconscious
occupier of the bath-bed might innocently take it
for a bell-rope. The professional cook of the
town had been already engaged to take up her abode
for a month at Mr. Bradshaw’s, much to the indignation
of Betsy, who became a vehement partisan of Mr. Cranworth,
as soon as ever she heard of the plan of her deposition
from sovereign authority in the kitchen, in which
she had reigned supreme for fourteen years. Mrs.
Bradshaw sighed and bemoaned herself in all her leisure
moments, which were not many, and wondered why their
house was to be turned into an inn for this Mr. Donne,
when everybody knew that the “George”
was good enough for the Cranworths, who never thought
of asking the electors to the Hall;—and
they had lived at Cranworth ever since Julius Caesar’s
time, and if that was not being an old family, she
did not know what was. The excitement soothed
Jemima. There was something to do. It was
she who planned with the upholsterer; it was she who
soothed Betsy into angry silence; it was she who persuaded
her mother to lie down and rest, while she herself
went out to buy the heterogeneous things required
to make the family and house presentable to Mr. Donne
and his precursor—the friend of the parliamentary
agent. This latter gentleman never appeared himself
on the scene of action, but pulled all the strings
notwithstanding. The friend was a Mr. Hickson,
a lawyer—a briefless barrister, some people
called him; but he himself professed a great disgust
to the law, as a “great sham,” which involved
an immensity of underhand action, and truckling, and
time-serving, and was perfectly encumbered by useless
forms and ceremonies, and dead obsolete words.
So, instead of putting his shoulder to the wheel to
reform the law, he talked eloquently against it, in
such a high-priest style, that it was occasionally
a matter of surprise how ho could ever have made a
friend of the parliamentary agent before mentioned.
But, as Mr. Hickson himself said, it was the very corruptness
of the law which he was fighting against, in doing
all he could to effect the return of certain members
to Parliament; these certain members being pledged
to effect a reform in the law, according to Mr. Hickson.
And, as he once observed confidentially, “If
you had to destroy a hydra-headed monster, would you
measure swords with the demon as if he were a gentleman?
Would you not rather seize the first weapon that came
to hand? And so do I. My great object in life,
sir, is to reform the law of England, sir. Once
get a majority of Liberal members into the House,
and the thing is done. And I consider myself
justified, for so high—for, I may say,
so holy—an end, in using men’s weaknesses
to work out my purpose. Of course, if men were
angels, or even immaculate—men invulnerable
to bribes, we would not bribe.”