Colonel. [Freezingly.] Indeed!
Ernest. He’s not at all the sort of Johnny that appeals to me.
Colonel. Really?
Ernest. [Unmoved.] If I were you, Colonel, I should tip her the wink. He was hanging about her at Ascot all the time. It ’s a bit thick!
[Mrs. Hope followed by rose appears from the house.]
Colonel. [Stammering with passion.] Jackanapes!
Mrs. Hope. Don’t stand there, Tom; clear those papers, and let Rose lay the table. Now, Ernest, go and get another chair.
[The colonel looks
wildly round and sits beneath the hollow
tree, with his head
held in his hands. Rose lays the cloth.]
Mrs. Beech. [Sitting beside the colonel.] Poor creature!
Ernest. [Carrying his chair about with him.] Ask any Johnny in the City, he ’ll tell you Mexico’s a very tricky country—the people are awful rotters
Mrs. Hope. Put that chair down, Ernest.
[Ernest looks at
the chair, puts it down, opens his mouth, and
goes away. Rose
follows him.]
What’s he been talking about? You oughtn’t to get so excited, Tom; is your head bad, old man? Here, take these papers! [She hands the papers to the colonel.] Peachey, go in and tell them tea ’ll be ready in a minute, there ’s a good soul? Oh! and on my dressing table you’ll find a bottle of Eau de Cologne.
Mrs. Beech. Don’t let him get in a temper again. That ’s three times to-day!
[She goes towards the house. ]
Colonel. Never met such a fellow in my life, the most opinionated, narrow-minded—thinks he knows everything. Whatever Letty could see in him I can’t think. Pragmatical beggar!
Mrs. Hope. Now Tom! What have you been up to, to get into a state like this?
Colonel. [Avoiding her eyes.] I shall lose my temper with him one of these days. He’s got that confounded habit of thinking nobody can be right but himself.
Mrs. Hope. That’s enough! I want to talk to you seriously! Dick’s in love. I’m perfectly certain of it.
Colonel. Love! Who’s he in love with—Peachey?
Mrs. Hope. You can see it all over him. If I saw any signs of Joy’s breaking out, I’d send them both away. I simply won’t have it.
Colonel. Why, she’s a child!
Mrs. Hope. [Pursuing her own thoughts.] But she isn’t—not yet. I’ve been watching her very carefully. She’s more in love with her Mother than any one, follows her about like a dog! She’s been quite rude to Mr. Lever.
Colonel. [Pursuing his own thoughts.] I don’t believe a word of it.