Complete Plays of John Galsworthy eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,284 pages of information about Complete Plays of John Galsworthy.

Complete Plays of John Galsworthy eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,284 pages of information about Complete Plays of John Galsworthy.

Waiter.  Yes, sare.

Little man.  Thank you very much.

     [The waiter goes.]

American. [Pausing in the deglutition of his eggs—­affably] Pardon me, sir; I’d like to have you tell me why you called that little bit of a feller “Herr Ober.”  Reckon you would know what that means?  Mr. Head Waiter.

Little man.  Yes, yes.

American.  I smile.

Little man.  Oughtn’t I to call him that?

German. [Abruptly] ‘Nein—­Kellner’.

American.  Why, yes!  Just “waiter.”

     [The ENGLISHWOMAN looks round her paper for a second.  The Dutch
     youth stops eating and laughs.  The little man gazes from face
     to face and nurses his hat.]

Little man.  I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

German.  Gott!

American.  In my country we’re very democratic—­but that’s quite a proposition.

Englishman. [Handling coffee-pot, to his wife] More?

ENGLISHWOMAN.  No, thanks.

German. [Abruptly] These fellows—­if you treat them in this manner, at once they take liberties.  You see, you will not get your beer.

     [As he speaks the waiter returns, bringing the little man’s
     beer, then retires.]

American.  That ’pears to be one up to democracy. [To the little
man] I judge you go in for brotherhood?

Little man. [Startled] Oh, no!

American.  I take considerable stock in Leo Tolstoi myself.  Grand man—­grand-souled apparatus.  But I guess you’ve got to pinch those waiters some to make ’em skip. [To the English, who have carelessly looked his way for a moment] You’ll appreciate that, the way he acted about my eggs.

     [The English make faint motions with their chins and avert their
     eyes.]

     [To the waiter, who is standing at the door of the buffet]

Waiter!  Flash of beer—­jump, now!

Waiter.  ‘Komm’ gleich’!

German.  ‘Cigarren’!

Waiter.  ‘Schon’!

     [He disappears.]

American. [Affably—­to the little man] Now, if I don’t get that flash of beer quicker’n you got yours, I shall admire.

German. [Abruptly] Tolstoi is nothing ‘nichts’!  No good!  Ha?

American. [Relishing the approach of argument] Well, that is a matter of temperament.  Now, I’m all for equality.  See that poor woman there—­very humble woman—­there she sits among us with her baby.  Perhaps you’d like to locate her somewhere else?

German. [Shrugging].  Tolstoi is ‘sentimentalisch’.  Nietzsche is the true philosopher, the only one.

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Complete Plays of John Galsworthy from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.