Lord W. Can you apply it in theory?

Press.  I believe it is done.  But would you allow yourself to be blown up with impunity?

Lord W. Well, that’s a bit extreme.  But I quite sympathise with this chap.  Imagine yourself in his shoes.  He sees a huge house, all these bottles; us swilling them down; perhaps he’s got a starving wife, or consumptive kids.

Press. [Writing and murmuring] Um-m!  “Kids.”

Lord W. He thinks:  “But for the grace of God, there swill I. Why should that blighter have everything and I nothing?” and all that.

Press. [Writing] “And all that.” [Eagerly] Yes?

Lord W. And gradually—­you see—­this contrast—­becomes an obsession with him.  “There’s got to be an example made,” he thinks; and—­er—­ he makes it, don’t you know?

Press. [Writing] Ye-es?  And—­when you’re the example?

Lord W. Well, you feel a bit blue, of course.  But my point is that you quite see it.

Press.  From the other world.  Do you believe in a future life, Lord William?  The public took a lot of interest in the question, if you remember, at the time of the war.  It might revive at any moment, if there’s to be a revolution.

Lord W. The wish is always father to the thought, isn’t it?

Press.  Yes!  But—­er—­doesn’t the question of a future life rather bear on your point about kindness?  If there isn’t one—­why be kind?

Lord W. Well, I should say one oughtn’t to be kind for any motive—­ that’s self-interest; but just because one feels it, don’t you know.

Press. [Writing vigorously] That’s very new—­very new!

Lord W. [Simply] You chaps are wonderful.

Press. [Doubtfully] You mean we’re—­we’re——­

Lord W. No, really.  You have such a d—–­d hard time.  It must be perfectly beastly to interview fellows like me.

Press.  Oh!  Not at all, Lord William.  Not at all.  I assure you compared with a literary man, it’s—­it’s almost heavenly.

Lord W. You must have a wonderful knowledge of things.

Press. [Bridling a little] Well—­I shouldn’t say that.

Lord W. I don’t see how you can avoid it.  You turn your hands to everything.

Press. [Modestly] Well—­yes, Yes.

Lord W. I say:  Is there really going to be a revolution, or are you making it up, you Press?

Press.  We don’t know.  We never know whether we come before the event, or it comes before us.

Lord W. That’s—­very deep—­very dip.  D’you mind lending me your note-book a moment.  I’d like to stick that down.  All right, I’ll use the other end. [The press hands it hypnotically.]

Lord W. [Jotting] Thanks awfully.  Now what’s your real opinion of the situation?