reduce to definite form the idea of his having incurred
an injury, or at the best an inconvenience, that required
some makeweight and deserved some amends. And
he should do this the more, which was the great point,
that he should appear to adopt, in doing it, the sentiment,
in fact the very conviction, entertained, and quite
sufficiently expressed, by Maggie herself, in her
beautiful generosity, as to what he had suffered—putting
it with extravagance—at her hands.
If she put it with extravagance the extravagance was
yet sincere, for it came—which she put
with extravagance too—from her persistence,
always, in thinking, feeling, talking about him, as
young. He had had glimpses of moments when to
hear her thus, in her absolutely unforced compunction,
one would have supposed the special edge of the wrong
she had done him to consist in his having still before
him years and years to groan under it. She had
sacrificed a parent, the pearl of parents, no older
than herself: it wouldn’t so much have
mattered if he had been of common parental age.
That he wasn’t, that he was just her extraordinary
equal and contemporary, this was what added to her
act the long train of its effect. Light broke
for him at last, indeed, quite as a consequence of
the fear of breathing a chill upon this luxuriance
of her spiritual garden. As at a turn of his labyrinth
he saw his issue, which opened out so wide, for the
minute, that he held his breath with wonder.
He was afterwards to recall how, just then, the autumn
night seemed to clear to a view in which the whole
place, everything round him, the wide terrace where
he stood, the others, with their steps, below, the
gardens, the park, the lake, the circling woods, lay
there as under some strange midnight sun. It
all met him during these instants as a vast expanse
of discovery, a world that looked, so lighted, extraordinarily
new, and in which familiar objects had taken on a
distinctness that, as if it had been a loud, a spoken
pretension to beauty, interest, importance, to he
scarce knew what, gave them an inordinate quantity
of character and, verily, an inordinate size.
This hallucination, or whatever he might have called
it, was brief, but it lasted long enough to leave
him gasping. The gasp of admiration had by this
time, however, lost itself in an intensity that quickly
followed—the way the wonder of it, since
wonder was in question, truly had been the strange
delay of his vision. He had these several
days groped and groped for an object that lay at his
feet and as to which his blindness came from his stupidly
looking beyond. It had sat all the while at his
hearth-stone, whence it now gazed up in his face.