The picture was veiled, on the contrary, with the dimness
of trouble; behind which she felt, indistinguishable,
the procession of forms that had lost, all so pitifully,
their precious confidence. Therefore, though
there was in these days, for her, with Amerigo, little
enough even of the imitation, from day to day, of
unembarrassed references—as she had foreseen,
for that matter, from the first, that there would
be—her active conception of his accessibility
to their companion’s own private and unextinguished
right to break ground was not much less active than
before. So it was that her inner sense, in spite
of everything, represented him as still pulling wires
and controlling currents, or rather indeed as muffling
the whole possibility, keeping it down and down, leading
his accomplice continually on to some new turn of
the road. As regards herself Maggie had become
more conscious from week to week of his ingenuities
of intention to make up to her for their forfeiture,
in so dire a degree, of any reality of frankness—a
privation that had left on his lips perhaps a little
of the same thirst with which she fairly felt her
own distorted, the torment of the lost pilgrim who
listens in desert sands for the possible, the impossible,
plash of water. It was just this hampered state
in him, none the less, that she kept before her when
she wished most to find grounds of dignity for the
hard little passion which nothing he had done could
smother. There were hours enough, lonely hours,
in which she let dignity go; then there were others
when, clinging with her winged concentration to some
deep cell of her heart, she stored away her hived
tenderness as if she had gathered it all from flowers.
He was walking ostensibly beside her, but in fact
given over, without a break, to the grey medium in
which he helplessly groped; a perception on her part
which was a perpetual pang and which might last what
it would—for ever if need be—but
which, if relieved at all, must be relieved by his
act alone. She herself could do nothing more for
it; she had done the utmost possible. It was
meantime not the easier to bear for this aspect under
which Charlotte was presented as depending on him
for guidance, taking it from him even in doses of bitterness,
and yet lost with him in devious depths. Nothing
was thus more sharply to be inferred than that he
had promptly enough warned her, on hearing from her
of the precious assurance received from his wife,
that she must take care her satisfaction didn’t
betray something of her danger. Maggie had a
day of still waiting, after allowing him time to learn
how unreservedly she had lied for him—of
waiting as for the light of she scarce knew what slow-shining
reflection of this knowledge in his personal attitude.
What retarded evolution, she asked herself in these
hours, mightn’t poor Charlotte all unwittingly
have precipitated? She was thus poor Charlotte
again for Maggie even while Maggie’s own head
was bowed, and the reason for this kept coming back