little sense of justice. She began with wanting
to show him that his marriage could never, under whatever
temptation of her own bliss with the Prince, become
for her a pretext for deserting or neglecting him.
Then that, in its order, entailed her wanting to show
the Prince that she recognised how the other desire—this
wish to remain, intensely, the same passionate little
daughter she had always been—involved in
some degree, and just for the present, so to speak,
her neglecting and deserting him. I quite hold,”
Fanny with characteristic amplitude parenthesised,
“that a person can mostly feel but one passion—one
tender passion, that is—at a time.
Only, that doesn’t hold good for our primary
and instinctive attachments, the ‘voice of blood,’
such as one’s feeling for a parent or a brother.
Those may be intense and yet not prevent other intensities—as
you will recognise, my dear, when you remember how
I continued, tout betement, to adore my mother, whom
you didn’t adore, for years after I had begun
to adore you. Well, Maggie”—she
kept it up—“is in the same situation
as I was, plus complications from which I was,
thank heaven, exempt: Plus the complication,
above all, of not having in the least begun with the
sense for complications that I should have had.
Before she knew it, at any rate, her little scruples
and her little lucidities, which were really so divinely
blind— her feverish little sense of justice,
as I say—had brought the two others together
as her grossest misconduct couldn’t have done.
And now she knows something or other has happened—yet
hasn’t heretofore known what. She has only
piled up her remedy, poor child—something
that she has earnestly but confusedly seen as her
necessary policy; piled it on top of the policy, on
top of the remedy, that she at first thought out for
herself, and that would really have needed, since
then, so much modification. Her only modification
has been the growth of her necessity to prevent her
father’s wondering if all, in their life in common,
may be so certainly for the best. She has
now as never before to keep him unconscious that,
peculiar, if he makes a point of it, as their situation
is, there’s anything in it all uncomfortable
or disagreeable, anything morally the least out of
the way. She has to keep touching it up to make
it, each day, each month, look natural and normal
to him; so that—God forgive me the comparison!—she’s
like an old woman who has taken to ‘painting’
and who has to lay it on thicker, to carry it off with
a greater audacity, with a greater impudence even,
the older she grows.” And Fanny stood a
moment captivated with the image she had thrown off.
“I like the idea of Maggie audacious and impudent—learning
to be so to gloss things over. She could—she
even will, yet, I believe—learn it, for
that sacred purpose, consummately, diabolically.
For from the moment the dear man should see it’s
all rouge—!” She paused, staring at the
vision.