without the strongest and most reprehensible conceit, can I claim for my normal self a single attribute or quality not possessed by an hypothetical average human being?  Yes, I am myself the Public; or at all events all that my consciousness can ever know of it for certain.”  And he began to consider deeply.  For sitting there in cold blood, with his nerves at rest, and his brain and senses normal, the play he had written did seem to him to put an unnecessary strain upon the faculties.  “Ah!” he thought, “in future I must take good care never to write anything except in cold blood, with my nerves well clothed, and my brain and senses quiet.  I ought only to write when I feel as normal as I do now.”  And for some minutes he remained motionless, looking at his boots.  Then there crept into his mind an uncomfortable thought.  “But have I ever written anything without feeling a little-abnormal, at the time?  Have I ever even felt inclined to write anything, until my emotions had been unduly excited, my brain immoderately stirred, my senses unusually quickened, or my spirit extravagantly roused?  Never!  Alas, never!  I am then a miserable renegade, false to the whole purpose of my being—­nor do I see the slightest hope of becoming a better man, a less unworthy artist!  For I literally cannot write without the stimulus of some feeling exaggerated at the expense of other feelings.  What has been in the past will be in the future:  I shall never be taking up my pen when I feel my comfortable and normal self never be satisfying that self which is the Public!” And he thought:  “I am lost.  For, to satisfy that normal self, to give the Public what it wants, is, I am told, and therefore must believe, what all artists exist for.  AEschylus in his ‘Choephorae’ and his ‘Prometheus’; Sophocles in his ‘OEdipus Tyrannus’; Euripides when he wrote ‘The Trojan Women,’ ’Medea,’—­and ‘Hippolytus’; Shakespeare in his ‘Leer’; Goethe in his ‘Faust’; Ibsen in his ‘Ghosts’ and his ‘Peer Gynt’; Tolstoy in ‘The Powers of Darkness’; all—­all in those great works, must have satisfied their most comfortable and normal selves; all—­all must have given to the average human being, to the Public, what it wants; for to do that, we know, was the reason of their existence, and who shall say those noble artists were not true to it?  That is surely unthinkable.  And yet—­and yet—­we are assured, and, indeed, it is true, that there is no real Public in this country for just those plays!  Therefore AEschylus, Sophocles, Euripides, Shakespeare, Goethe, Ibsen, Tolstoy, in their greatest works did not give the Public what it wants, did not satisfy the average human being, their more comfortable and normal selves, and as artists were not true to the reason of their existence.  Therefore they were not artists, which is unthinkable; therefore I have not yet found the Public!”

And perceiving that in this impasse his last hope of discovery had foundered, the writer let his head fall on his chest.