I looked round,—­then behind me,—­and to my surprise saw that the door of my little recess had been unlocked and left open.  Acting on an impulse too strong to resist, I stole softly out, and stepping on tiptoe, scarcely daring to breathe, I found my way through a low archway into the body of the chapel, and stood there all alone, my heart beating loudly with positive terror.  Yet there was nothing to fear.  No one was near me that I could see, but I felt as if there were thousands of eyes watching me from the roof, from behind the columns, and from the stained-glass windows that shed their light on the marble pavement.  And the glowing radiance of the Cross and Star in all that stillness was almost terrible!—­the long bright rays were like tongues of fire mutely expressing unutterable things!  Fascinated, I drew nearer and nearer—­then paused abruptly, checked by a kind of vibration under me, as though the ground rocked—­ presently, however, I gained fresh courage to go on, and by degrees was drawn into a perfect vortex of light which rushed upon me like great waves on all sides so forcibly that I had hardly any knowledge of my own movements.  Like a creature in a dream I moved,—­my very hands looked transparent and spirit-like as I stretched them out towards that marvellous Symbol!—­and when my eyes glanced for a moment at the folds of my covering veil I saw that its white silkiness shone with a pale amethystine hue.  On—­on I went,—­a desperate idea possessing me to go as far as I could into that strange starry centre of living luminance—­the very boldness of the thought appalled me even while I encouraged it—­but step by step I went on resolutely till I suddenly felt myself caught as it were in a wheel of fire!  Round and round me it whirled,—­darting points of radiance as sharp as spears which seemed to enter my body and stab it through and through—­I struggled for breath and tried to draw back,—­impossible!  I was tangled up in a net of endless light-vibrations which, though they gave forth no heat, yet quivered through my whole being with searching intensity as though bent on probing to the very centre of my soul!  I could not utter a sound,—­I stood there dumb, immovable, and shrouded in million-coloured flame, too stunned with the shock to realise my own identity.  Then all at once something dark and cool floated over me like the shadow of a passing cloud—­I looked up and strove to utter a cry,—­a word of appeal!—­and then fell to the ground, lost in complete unconsciousness.

XV

A FIRST LESSON