past, and be Pauline Chilton once more! Oh, if
I could be free and happy again! But there is
no prospect of that. I am his wife, as he told
me yesterday, and suppose I must drag out a miserable
existence. Yet I will not be trampled on by his
family! His sister spends much of her time with
us; reads to Ernest, talks to him about things that
she glories in telling me I don’t understand
the first word of. Beulah, I was anxious to study
and make myself a companion for him; but, try as I
may, Lucy contrives always to fret and thwart me.
Two days ago she nearly drove me beside myself with
her sneers and allusions to my great mental inferiority
to Ernest (as if I were not often enough painfully
reminded of the fact without any of her assistance!).
I know I should not have said it, but I was too angry
to think of propriety, and told her that her presence
in my home was very disagreeable. Oh, if you
could have seen her insulting smile, as she answered
that her ’noble brother needed her, and she felt
it a duty to remain with him.’ Beulah,
I love my husband; I would do anything on earth to
make him happy if we were left to ourselves, but as
to submitting to Lucy’s arrogance and sneers,
I will not! Ernest requires me to apologize to
his father and sister, and I told him I would not!
I would die first! He does not love me or he would
shield me from such trials. He thinks his sister
is perfection, and I tell you I do absolutely detest
her. Now, Beulah, there is no one else to whom
I would mention my unhappiness. Mother does not
suspect it, and never shall, even when she visits
me. Uncle Guy predicted it, and I would not have
him know it for the universe. But I can trust
you; I feel that you will sympathize with me, and I
want you to counsel me. Oh, tell me what I ought
to do to rid myself of this tormenting sister-in-law
and father-in-law, and, I may say, all Ernest’s
kin. Sometimes, when I think of the future, I
absolutely shudder; for if matters go on this way
much longer I shall learn to hate my husband too.
He knew my disposition before he married me, and has
no right to treat me as he does. If it were only
Ernest I could bring myself to ‘obey’
him, for I love him very devotedly; but as to being
dictated to by all his relatives, I never will!
Beulah, burn this blurred letter; don’t let
anybody know how drearily I am situated. I am
too proud to have my misery published. To know
that people pitied me would kill me. I never
can be happy again, but perhaps you can help me to
be less miserable. Do write to me! Oh, how
I wish you could come to me! I charge you, Beulah,
don’t let Uncle Guy know that I am not happy.
Good-by. Oh, if ever you marry, be sure your
husband has no old-maid sisters and no officious kin!
I am crying so that I can barely see the lines.
Good-by, dear Beulah.”
“Pauline.”