’He does it in grand style—disconsolate, frantic, and frosty; but he puzzles me completely by disclosing nothing but that he has no hope, and thinks me his rival. Can nothing be done?’
‘No, Louis,’ said Mrs. Ponsonby, decidedly; ’I have no idea that there is anything in that quarter. What may be on his mind, I cannot tell: I am sure that he is not on Mary’s.’
Louis rose. ‘I have tired you,’ he said, ’and you are very patient with my fooleries.’
‘You have been very patient with many a lecture of mine, Louis.’
‘There are very few who would have thought me worth lecturing.’
’Ah, Louis! if I did not like you so well for what you are, I should still feel the right to lecture you, when I remember the night I carried you to your father, and tried to make him believe that you would be his comfort and blessing. I think you have taught him the lesson at last!’
‘You have done it all,’ said Louis, with deep feeling.
’And now, may I say what more I want to see in you? If you could acquire more resolution, more manliness—will you pardon my saying so?’
’Ah! I have always found myself the identical weak man that all books give up as a hopeless case,’ said Louis, accepting the imputation more easily than she could have supposed possible.
‘No,’ she said, vigorously, ’you have not come to your time of life without openings to evil that you could not have resisted if you had been really weak.’
‘Distaste—and rather a taste for being quizzed,’ said Louis.
’Those are not weakness. Your will is indolent, and you take refuge in fancying that you want strength. Rouse yourself, not to be drifted about—make a line for yourself.’
‘My father will have me walk in no line but his own.’
’You have sense not to make duty to him an excuse for indolence and dislike of responsibility. You have often disappointed yourself by acting precipitately; and now you are throwing yourself prone upon him, in a way that is unwise for you both.’
‘I don’t know what to do!’ said Louis. ’When I thought the aim of my life was to be to devote myself to his wishes, you—ay, and he too-tell me to stand alone.’
’It will be a disappointment to him, if you do not act and decide for yourself—yes, and worse than disappointment. He knows what your devotional habits are; and if he sees you wanting in firmness or energy, he will set down all the rest as belonging to the softer parts of your nature.’
‘On the contrary,’ exclaimed Louia, indignantly, ’all the resolution I ever showed came from nothing else!’
’I know it. Let him see that these things make a man of you; and, Louis—you feel what a difference it might make!’
Louis bowed his head thoughtfully.
’You, who are both son and daughter to him, may give up schemes and pleasures for his sake, and may undertake work for which you have no natural turn; but, however you may cross your inclinations, never be led contrary to your judgment. Then, and with perseverance, I think you will be safe.’