‘You and Jem saw much more of them than I did.’
’Whose fault was that? Jem was always raving about your stupidity in staying at home.’
He began to question whether his interview with James had been a dream. As they were walking back towards the school, Clara went on to tell him that Lady Conway had called and taken her to a rehearsal of a concert of ancient music, and that Isabel had taken her for one or two drives into the country.
‘This must conduce to make school endurable,’ said Louis.
‘I think I hate it more because I hate it less.’
‘Translate, if you please.’
’The first half-year, I scorned them all, and they scorned me; and that was comfortable—’
‘And consistent. Well?’
’The next, you had disturbed me; I could not go on being savage with the same satisfaction, and their tuft-hunting temper began to discharge itself in such civility to me, that I could not give myself airs with any peace.’
‘Have you made no friends?’
One and a half. The whole one is a good, rough, stupid girl, who comes to school because she can’t learn, and is worth all the rest put together. The half is Caroline Salter, who is openly and honestly purse-proud, has no toad-eating in her nature, and straight-forwardly contemns high-blood and no money. We fought ourselves into respect for one another; and now, I verily believe, we are fighting ourselves into friendship. She is the only one that is proud, not vain; so we understand each other. As to the rest, they adore Caroline Halter’s enamelled watch one day; and the next, I should be their ‘dearest’ if I would but tell them what we have for dinner at Ormersfield, and what colour your eyes are!’
’The encounters have made you so epigrammatic and satirical, that there is no coming near you.’
’Oh, Louis! if you knew all, you would despise me as I do myself! I do sometimes get drawn into talking grandly about Ormersfield; and though I always say what I am to be, I know that I am as vain and proud as any of them: I am proud of being poor, and of the Pendragons, and of not being silly! I don’t know which is self-respect, and which is pride!’
’I have always had my doubts about that quality of self-respect. I never could make out what one was to respect.’
‘Oh, dear! les voila!’ cried Clara, as, entering Hanover Square, they beheld about twenty damsels coming out of the garden in couples. ’I would not have had it happen for the whole world!’ she added, abruptly withdrawing the arm that had clung to him so trustfully across many a perilous crossing.
She seemed to intend to slip into the ranks without any farewells, but the Earl, with politeness that almost confounded the little elderly governess, returned thanks for having been permitted the pleasure of her company, and Louis, between mischief and good-nature, would not submit to anything but a hearty, cousinly squeeze of the hand, nor relinquish it till he had forced her to utter articulately the message to grandmamma that she had been muttering with her head averted. At last it was spoken sharply, and her hand drawn petulantly away, and, without looking back at him, her high, stiff head vanished into the house, towering above the bright rainbow of ribbons, veils, and parasols.