thinking himself too high to be counselled: and
so all is come to nothing; for by that means the Duke
of Buckingham became desperate, and was forced to fall
in with Arlington, to his [the Chancellor’s]
ruin. Thence I home, and there to talk, with
great pleasure all the evening, with my wife, who tells
me that Deb, has been abroad to-day, and is come home
and says she has got a place to go to, so as she will
be gone tomorrow morning. This troubled me, and
the truth is, I have a good mind to have the maidenhead
of this girl, which I should not doubt to have if
je could get time para be con her. But she will
be gone and I not know whither. Before we went
to bed my wife told me she would not have me to see
her or give her her wages, and so I did give my wife
L10 for her year and half a quarter’s wages,
which she went into her chamber and paid her, and
so to bed, and there, blessed be God! we did sleep
well and with peace, which I had not done in now almost
twenty nights together. This afternoon I went
to my coachmaker and Crow’s, and there saw things
go on to my great content. This morning, at the
Treasury-chamber, I did meet Jack Fenn, and there he
did shew me my Lord Anglesey’s petition and
the King’s answer: the former good and stout,
as I before did hear it: but the latter short
and weak, saying that he was not, by what the King
had done, hindered from taking the benefit of his
laws, and that the reason he had to suspect his mismanagement
of his money in Ireland, did make him think it unfit
to trust him with his Treasury in England, till he
was satisfied in the former.
14th. Up, and had a mighty mind to have seen
or given her a little money, to which purpose I wrapt
up 40s. in paper, thinking to have given her a little
money, but my wife rose presently, and would not let
me be out of her sight, and went down before me into
the kitchen, and come up and told me that she was
in the kitchen, and therefore would have me go round
the other way; which she repeating and I vexed at
it, answered her a little angrily, upon which she
instantly flew out into a rage, calling me dog and
rogue, and that I had a rotten heart; all which, knowing
that I deserved it, I bore with, and word being brought
presently up that she was gone away by coach with
her things, my wife was friends, and so all quiet,
and I to the Office, with my heart sad, and find that
I cannot forget the girl, and vexed I know not where
to look for her. And more troubled to see how
my wife is by this means likely for ever to have her
hand over me, that I shall for ever be a slave to
her—that is to say, only in matters of
pleasure, but in other things she will make [it] her
business, I know, to please me and to keep me right
to her, which I will labour to be indeed, for she
deserves it of me, though it will be I fear a little
time before I shall be able to wear Deb, out of my
mind. At the Office all the morning, and merry
at noon, at dinner; and after dinner to the Office,