and he could not think of either separately.  But, notwithstanding the steadfastness and force of his love, he had not yet made any effort to see Mademoiselle Vincart.  At first, the increase of occupation caused by Claudet’s departure, the new duties devolving upon him, together with his inexperience, had prevented Julien from entertaining the possibility of renewing relations that had been so violently sundered.  Little by little, however; as he reviewed the situation of affairs, which his cousin’s generous sacrifice had engendered, he began to consider how he could benefit thereby.  Claudet’s departure had left the field free, but Julien felt no more confidence in himself than before.  The fact that Reine had so unaccountably refused to marry the grand chasserot did not seem to him sufficient encouragement.  Her motive was a secret, and therefore, of doubtful interpretation.  Besides, even if she were entirely heart-whole, was that a reason why she should give Julien a favorable reception?  Could she forget the cruel insult to which he had subjected her?  And immediately after that outrageous behavior of his, he had had the stupidity to make a proposal for Claudet.  That was the kind of affront, thought he, that a woman does not easily forgive, and the very idea of presenting himself before her made his heart sink.  He had seen her only at a distance, at the Sunday mass, and every time he had endeavored to catch her eye she had turned away her head.  She also avoided, in every way, any intercourse with the chateau.  Whenever a question arose, such as the apportionment of lands, or the allotment of cuttings, which would necessitate her having recourse to M. de Buxieres, she would abstain from writing herself, and correspond only through the notary, Arbillot.  Claudet’s heroic departure, therefore, had really accomplished nothing; everything was exactly at the same point as the day after Julien’s unlucky visit to La Thuiliere, and the same futile doubts and fears agitated him now as then.  It also occurred to him, that while he was thus debating and keeping silence, days, weeks, and months were slipping away; that Reine would soon reach her twenty-third year, and that she would be thinking of marriage.  It was well known that she had some fortune, and suitors were not lacking.  Even allowing that she had no afterthought in renouncing Claudet, she could not always live alone at the farm, and some day she would be compelled to accept a marriage of convenience, if not of love.

“And to think,” he would say to himself, “that she is there, only a few steps away, that I am consumed with longing, that I have only to traverse those pastures, to throw myself at her feet, and that I positively dare not!  Miserable wretch that I am, it was last spring, while we were in that but together, that I should have spoken of my love, instead of terrifying her with my brutal caresses!  Now it is too late!  I have wounded and humiliated her; I have driven away Claudet, who would at any rate have made her a stalwart lover, and I have made two beings unhappy, without counting myself.  So much for my miserable shufflings and evasion!  Ah! if one could only begin life over again!”