I am about to put within your reach the only aid which
it is possible for me to offer you; it will at
least give you a choice of unhappiness. If
you never see me again, to live with him will be a
torture beyond your strength, perhaps, for you love
me. I do not know how to express my thoughts,
and I dare not offer you advice or entreat you.
All that I feel is the necessity of telling you that
my whole life belongs to you, that I am yours until
death; but I hardly dare have the courage to lay
at your feet the offering of a destiny already
so sad, and which may soon be stained with blood.
A fatal necessity sometimes imposes actions which
public opinion condemns, but the heart excuses,
for it alone understands them. Do not be angry
at what you are about to read; never did words like
these come out of a more desolate heart. During
the whole day a post-chaise will wait for you at
the rear of the Montigny plateau; a fire lighted
upon the rock which you can see from your room will
notify you of its presence. In a short time
it can reach the Rhine. A person devoted to
you will accompany you to Munich, to the house of
one of my relatives, whose character and position will
assure you sufficient protection from all tyranny.
There, at least, you will be permitted to weep.
That is all that I can do for you. My heart is
broken when I think of the powerlessness of my love.
They say that when one crushes the scorpion which
has wounded him, he is cured; even my death will
not repair the wrong that I have done you; it will
only be one grief the more. Can you understand
how desperate is the feeling which I experience
now? For months past, to be loved by you has
been the sole desire of my heart, and now I must
repent ever having attained it. Out of pity for
you, I ought to wish that you did love me with
a love as perishable as my life, so that a remembrance
of me would leave you in peace. All this is so
sad that I have not the courage to continue. Adieu,
Clemence! Once more, one last time, I must
say: I love you! and yet, I dare not.
I feel unworthy to speak to you thus, for my love has
become a disastrous gift. Did I not ruin you?
The only word that seems to be permissible is the
one that even a murderer dares to address to his
God: pardon me!”
After reading this, the Baron passed the letter to his wife without saying a word, and resumed his sombre attitude.
“You see what he asks of you?” he said, after a rather long pause, as he observed the dazed way in which Madame de Bergenheim’s eyes wandered over this letter.
“My head is bewildered,” she replied, “I do not understand what he says—Why does he speak of death?”
Christian’s lips curled disdainfully as he answered:
“It does not concern you; one does not kill women.”
“They need it not to die,” replied Clemence, who gazed at her husband with wild, haggard eyes.
“Then you are going to fight?” she added, after a moment’s pause.