Thus spoke Desgenais; and the shadows of night began to fall.

CHAPTER VI

MADAME LEVASSEUR

The following morning I rode through the Bois de Boulogne; the weather was dark and threatening.  At the Porte Maillot I dropped the reins on my horse’s back and abandoned myself to revery, revolving in my mind the words spoken by Desgenais the evening before.

Suddenly I heard my name called.  Turning my head I spied one of my inamorata’s most intimate friends in an open carriage.  She bade me stop, and, holding out her hand with a friendly air, invited me to dine with her if I had no other engagement.

This woman, Madame Levasseur by name, was small, stout, and decidedly blonde; I had never liked her, and my attitude toward her had always been one of studied politeness.  But I could not resist a desire to accept her invitation; I pressed her hand and thanked her; I was sure that we should talk of my mistress.

She sent a servant to lead my horse and I entered her carriage; she was alone, and we at once took the road to Paris.  Rain began to fall, and the carriage curtains were drawn; thus shut up together we rode on in silence.  I looked at her with inexpressible sadness; she was not only the friend of my faithless one but her confidante.  She had often formed one of our party when I called on my mistress in the evening.  With what impatience had I endured her presence!  How often I counted the minutes that must elapse before she would leave!  That was probably the cause of my aversion to her.  I knew that she approved of our love; she even went so far as to defend me in our quarrels.  In spite of the services she had rendered me, I considered her ugly and tiresome.  Alas! now I found her beautiful!  I looked at her hands, her clothes; every gesture went straight to my heart; all the past was associated with her.  She noticed the change in manner and understood that I was oppressed by sad memories of the past.  Thus we sped on our way, I looking at her, she smiling at me.  When we reached Paris she took my hand: 

“Well?” she said.

“Well?” I replied, sobbing, “tell her if you wish.”  Tears rushed from my eyes.

After dinner we sat before the fire.

“But tell me,” she said, “is it irrevocable?  Can nothing be done?”

“Alas!  Madame,” I replied, “there is nothing irrevocable except the grief that is killing me.  My condition can be expressed in a few words:  I can not love her, I can not love another, and I can not cease loving.”

At these words she moved uneasily in her chair, and I could see an expression of compassion on her face.

For some time she appeared to be reflecting, as if pondering over my fate and seeking some remedy for my sorrow.  Her eyes were closed and she appeared lost in revery.  She extended her hand and I took it in mine.

“And I, too,” she murmured, “that is just my experience.”  She stopped, overcome by emotion.