At the journey of July, M. and Madam de Luxembourg showed me so much attention, and were so extremely kind, that, lodged in their house, and overwhelmed with their goodness, I could not do less than make them a proper return in assiduous respect near their persons; I scarcely quitted them; I went in the morning to pay my court to Madam la Marechale; after dinner I walked with the marechal; but did not sup at the castle on account of the numerous guests, and because they supped too late for me.  Thus far everything was as it should be, and no harm would have been done could I have remained at this point.  But I have never known how to preserve a medium in my attachments, and simply fulfil the duties of society.  I have ever been everything or nothing.  I was soon everything; and receiving the most polite attention from persons of the highest rank, I passed the proper bounds, and conceived for them a friendship not permitted except among equals.  Of these I had all the familiarity in my manners, whilst they still preserved in theirs the same politeness to which they had accustomed me.  Yet I was never quite at my ease with Madam de Luxembourg.  Although I was not quite relieved from my fears relative to her character, I apprehended less danger from it than from her wit.  It was by this especially that she impressed me with awe.  I knew she was difficult as to conversation, and she had a right to be so.  I knew women, especially those of her rank, would absolutely be amused, that it was better to offend than to weary them, and I judged by her commentaries upon what the people who went away had said what she must think of my blunders.  I thought of an expedient to spare me with her the embarrassment of speaking; this was reading.  She had heard of my Eloisa, and knew it was in the press; she expressed a desire to see the work; I offered to read it to her, and she accepted my offer.  I went to her every morning at ten o’clock; M. de Luxembourg was present, and the door was shut.  I read by the side of her bed, and so well proportioned my readings that there would have been sufficient for the whole time she had to stay, had they even not been interrupted.

     [The loss of a great battle, which much afflicted the King,
     obliged M. de Luxembourg precipitately to return to court.]

The success of this expedient surpassed my expectation.  Madam de Luxembourg took a great liking to Julia and the author; she spoke of nothing but me, thought of nothing else, said civil things to me from morning till night, and embraced me ten times a day.  She insisted on me always having my place by her side at table, and when any great lords wished it she told them it was mine, and made them sit down somewhere else.  The impression these charming manners made upon me, who was subjugated by the least mark of affection, may easily be judged of.  I became really attached to her in proportion to the attachment she showed me.  All my fear in perceiving this infatuation, and feeling the want of agreeableness in myself to support it, was that it would be changed into disgust; and unfortunately this fear was but too well founded.