to my inclinations, I have again entered the world,
I have incessantly regretted my dear Charmettes, and
the agreeable life I led there. I felt a natural
inclination to retirement and the country: it
was impossible for me to live happily elsewhere.
At Venice, in the train of public affairs, in the
dignity of a kind of representation, in the pride of
projects of advancement; at Paris, in the vortex of
the great world, in the luxury of suppers, in the
brilliancy of spectacles, in the rays of splendor;
my groves, rivulets, and solitary walks, constantly
presented themselves to my recollection, interrupted
my thought, rendered me melancholy, and made me sigh
with desire. All the labor to which I had subjected
myself, every project of ambition which by fits had
animated my ardor, all had for object this happy country
retirement, which I now thought near at hand.
Without having acquired a genteel independence, which
I had judged to be the only means of accomplishing
my views, I imagined myself, in my particular situation,
to be able to do without it, and that I could obtain
the same end by a means quite opposite. I had
no regular income; but I possessed some talents, and
had acquired a name. My wants were few, and I
had freed myself from all those which were most expensive,
and which merely depended on prejudice and opinion.
Besides this, although naturally indolent, I was
laborious when I chose to be so. and my idleness was
less that of an indolent man, than that of an independent
one who applies to business when it pleases him.
My profession of a copyist of music was neither splendid
nor lucrative, but it was certain. The world
gave me credit for the courage I had shown in making
choice of it. I might depend upon having sufficient
employment to enable me to live. Two thousand
livres which remained of the produce of the ‘Devin
du Village’, and my other writings, were a sum
which kept me from being straitened, and several works
I had upon the stocks promised me, without extorting
money from the booksellers, supplies sufficient to
enable me to work at my ease without exhausting myself,
even by turning to advantage the leisure of my walks.
My little family, consisting of three persons, all
of whom were usefully employed, was not expensive
to support. Finally, from my resources, proportioned
to my wants and desires, I might reasonably expect
a happy and permanent existence, in that manner of
life which my inclination had induced me to adopt.
I might have taken the interested side of the question, and, instead of subjecting my pen to copying, entirely devoted it to works which, from the elevation to which I had soared, and at which I found myself capable of continuing, might have enabled me to live in the midst of abundance, nay, even of opulence, had I been the least disposed to join the manoeuvres of an author to the care of publishing a good book. But I felt that writing for bread would soon have extinguished my genius, and destroyed my talents, which were less