the house, not even seeing them, he gives them what
he pleases, and when he thinks proper; but I, alone,
and without a servant, was at the mercy of the servants
of the house, of whom it was necessary to gain the
good graces, that I might not have much to suffer;
and being treated as the equal of their master, I was
obliged to treat them accordingly, and better than
another would have done, because, in fact, I stood
in greater need of their services. This, where
there are but few domestics, may be complied with;
but in the houses I frequented there were a great
number, and the knaves so well understood their interests
that they knew how to make me want the services of
them all successively. The women of Paris, who
have so much wit, have no just idea of this inconvenience,
and in their zeal to economize my purse they ruined
me. If I supped in town, at any considerable
distance from my lodgings, instead of permitting me
to send for a hackney coach, the mistress of the house
ordered her horses to be put to and sent me home in
her carriage. She was very glad to save me the
twenty-four sous (shilling) for the fiacre, but never
thought of the half-crown I gave to her coachman and
footman. If a lady wrote to me from Paris to
the Hermit age or to Montmorency, she regretted the
four sous (two pence) the postage of the letter would
have cost me, and sent it by one of her servants,
who came sweating on foot, and to whom I gave a dinner
and half a crown, which he certainly had well earned.
If she proposed to me to pass with her a week or
a fortnight at her country-house, she still said to
herself, “It will be a saving to the poor man;
during that time his eating will cost him nothing.”
She never recollected that I was the whole time idle,
that the expenses of my family, my rent, linen and
clothes were still going on, that I paid my barber
double that it cost me more being in her house than
in my own, and although I confined my little largesses
to the house in which I customarily lived, that these
were still ruinous to me. I am certain I have
paid upwards of twenty-five crowns in the house of
Madam d’Houdetot, at Raubonne, where I never
slept more than four or five times, and upwards of
a thousand livres (forty pounds) as well at Epinay
as at the Chevrette, during the five or six years
I was most assiduous there. These expenses are
inevitable to a man like me, who knows not how to provide
anything for himself, and cannot support the sight
of a lackey who grumbles and serves him with a sour
look. With Madam Dupin, even where I was one
of the family, and in whose house I rendered many
services to the servants, I never received theirs
but for my money. In course of time it was necessary
to renounce these little liberalities, which my situation
no longer permitted me to bestow, and I felt still
more severely the inconvenience of associating with
people in a situation different from my own.