have entered a society of men of letters of the first
merit; M. de Mairan, Clairaut, De Guignes and the
Abbe Barthelemi, with the first two of whom I had already
made an acquaintance, and that of the two others was
very desirable. In fine, for this trifling employment,
the duties of which I might so commodiously have discharged,
there was a salary of eight hundred livres (thirty-three
pounds); I was for a few hours undecided, and this
from a fear of making Margency angry and displeasing
M. de Malesherbes. But at length the insupportable
constraint of not having it in my power to work when
I thought proper, and to be commanded by time; and
moreover the certainty of badly performing the functions
with which I was to charge myself, prevailed over
everything, and determined me to refuse a place for
which I was unfit. I knew that my whole talent
consisted in a certain warmth of mind with respect
to the subjects of what I had to treat, and that nothing
but the love of that which was great, beautiful and
sublime, could animate my genius. What would
the subjects of the extracts I should have had to
make from books, or even the books themselves, have
signified to me? My indifference about them would
have frozen my pen, and stupefied my mind. People
thought I could make a trade of writing, as most of
the other men of letters did, instead of which I never
could write but from the warmth of imagination.
This certainly was not necessary for the ‘Journal
des Savans’. I therefore wrote to Margency
a letter of thanks, in the politest terms possible,
and so well explained to him my reasons, that it was
not possible that either he or M. de Malesherbes could
imagine there was pride or ill-humor in my refusal.
They both approved of it without receiving me less
politely, and the secret was so well kept that it
was never known to the public.
The proposition did not come in a favorable moment.
I had some time before this formed the project of
quitting literature, and especially the trade of an
author. I had been disgusted with men of letters
by everything that had lately befallen me, and had
learned from experience that it was impossible to
proceed in the same track without having some connections
with them. I was not much less dissatisfied with
men of the world, and in general with the mixed life
I had lately led, half to myself and half devoted
to societies for which I was unfit. I felt more
than ever, and by constant experience, that every unequal
association is disadvantageous to the weaker person.
Living with opulent people, and in a situation different
from that I had chosen, without keeping a house as
they did, I was obliged to imitate them in many things;
and little expenses, which were nothing to their fortunes,
were for me not less ruinous than indispensable.
Another man in the country-house of a friend, is
served by his own servant, as well at table as in his
chamber; he sends him to seek for everything he wants;
having nothing directly to do with the servants of