“In that case,” I said, “you cannot be Countess Palatine; for we never allow such unequal marriages to hold good.  I will tell you, moreover, that you lie when you say that the Count Palatine married your mother; she is a -----, and the Count has married her no more than a hundred others have done; I know her lawful husband is a hautboy-player.  If you presume, in future, to pass yourself off as a Countess Palatine I will have you stripped; let me never again hear anything of this; but if you will follow my advice, and take your proper name, I shall not reproach you.  And now you see what you have to choose between.”

The girl took this so much to heart that she died some days afterwards.  As for the second, she was sent to a boarding-house in Paris, where she became as bad as her mother; but as she changed her name I did not trouble myself any further about her.

I told the Dauphine what I had done, who was very much obliged to me, and confessed she should not have had courage enough to do it herself.  She feared that the King would be displeased with me; but he only said to me, jestingly, “One must not play tricks with you about your family, for it seems to be a matter of life or death with you.”

I replied, “I hate lies.”

There was a troop of Italian players who had got up a comedy called “The Pretended Prude.”  When I learnt they were going to represent it, I sent for them and told them not to do so.  It was in vain; they played it, and got a great deal of money by it; but they were afterwards sent away in consequence.  They then came to me and wanted me to intercede for them; but I said, “Why did you not take my advice?” It was said they hit off the character of Maintenon with the most amusing fidelity.  I should have liked to see it, but I would not go lest the old woman should have told the King that I had planned it out of ill-will to her.

SECTION VII.—­THE QUEEN—­CONSORT OF LOUIS XIV.

Our Queen was excessively ignorant, but the kindest and most virtuous woman in the world; she had a certain greatness in her manner, and knew how to hold a Court extremely well.  She believed everything the King told her, good or bad.  Her teeth were very ugly, being black and broken.  It was said that this proceeded from her being in the constant habit of taking chocolate; she also frequently ate garlic.  She was short and fat, and her skin was very white.  When she was not walking or dancing she seemed much taller.  She ate frequently and for a long time; but her food was always cut in pieces as small as if they were for a singing bird.  She could not forget her country, and her manners were always remarkably Spanish.  She was very fond of play; she played basset, reversis, ombre, and sometimes a little primero; but she never won because she did not know how to play.

She had such as affection for the King that she used to watch his eyes to do whatever might be agreeable to him; if he only looked at her kindly she was in good spirits for the rest of the day.  She was very glad when the King quitted his mistresses for her, and displayed so much satisfaction that it was commonly remarked.  She had no objection to being joked upon this subject, and upon such occasions used to laugh and wink and rub her little hands.