I often visited Madame de Maintenon, and did all in my power to gain her affections, but could never succeed.  The Queen of Sicily asked me one day if I did not go out with the King in his carriage, as when she was with us.  I replied to her by some verses (from Racine’s Phedre).

Madame de Torci told this again to old Maintenon, as if it applied to her, which indeed it did, and the King was obliged to look coldly on me for some time.

During the last three years of his life I had entirely gained my husband to myself, so that he laughed at his own weaknesses, and was no longer displeased at being joked with.  I had suffered dreadfully before; but from this period he confided in me entirely, and, always took my part.  By his death I saw the result of the care and pains of thirty years vanish.  After Monsieur’s decease, the King sent to ask me whither I wished to retire, whether to a convent in Paris, or to Maubuisson, or elsewhere.  I replied that as I had the honour to be of the royal house I could not live but where the King was, and that I intended to go directly to Versailles.  The King was pleased at this, and came to see me.  He somewhat mortified me by saying that he sent to ask me whither I wished to go because he had not imagined that I should choose to stay where he was.  I replied that I did not know who could have told His Majesty anything so false and injurious, and that I had a much more sincere respect and attachment for His Majesty than those who had thus falsely accused me.  The King then dismissed all the persons present, and we had a long explanation, in the course of which the King told me I hated Madame de Maintenon.  I confessed that I did hate her, but only through my attachment for him, and because she did me wrong to His Majesty; nevertheless, I added that, if it were agreeable to him that I should be reconciled to her, I was ready to become so.  The good lady was not prepared for this, or she would not have suffered the King to come to me; he was, however, so satisfied that he remained favourable to me up to his last hour.  He made old Maintenon come, and said to her, “Madame is willing to make friends with you.”  He then caused us to embrace, and there the scene ended.  He required her also to live upon good terms with me, which she did in appearance, but secretly played me all sorts of tricks.  It was at this time a matter of indifference to me whether I went to live at Montargis or not, but I would not have the appearance of doing so in consequence of any disgrace, and as if I had committed some offence for which I was driven from the Court.  I had reason to fear, besides, that at the end of two days’ journey I might be left to die of hunger, and to avoid this risk I chose rather to be reconciled to the King.  As to going into a convent, I never once thought of it, although it was that which old Maintenon most desired.  The Castle of Montargis is my jointure; at Orleans there is no house.  St. Cloud is not