Higgins [confidently] Oh no: I think not. If there’s any trouble he shall have it with me, not I with him. And we are sure to get something interesting out of him.
Pickering. About the girl?
Higgins. No. I mean his dialect.
Pickering. Oh!
Mrs. Pearce [at the door] Doolittle, sir. [She admits Doolittle and retires].
Alfred Doolittle is an elderly but vigorous dustman, clad in the costume of his profession, including a hat with a back brim covering his neck and shoulders. He has well marked and rather interesting features, and seems equally free from fear and conscience. He has a remarkably expressive voice, the result of a habit of giving vent to his feelings without reserve. His present pose is that of wounded honor and stern resolution.
Doolittle [at the door, uncertain which of the two gentlemen is his man] Professor Higgins?
Higgins. Here. Good morning. Sit down.
Doolittle. Morning, Governor. [He sits down magisterially] I come about a very serious matter, Governor.
Higgins [to Pickering] Brought up in Hounslow. Mother Welsh, I should think. [Doolittle opens his mouth, amazed. Higgins continues] What do you want, Doolittle?
Doolittle [menacingly] I want my daughter: that’s what I want. See?
Higgins. Of course you do. You’re her father, aren’t you? You don’t suppose anyone else wants her, do you? I’m glad to see you have some spark of family feeling left. She’s upstairs. Take her away at once.
Doolittle [rising, fearfully taken aback] What!
Higgins. Take her away. Do you suppose I’m going to keep your daughter for you?
Doolittle [remonstrating] Now, now, look here, Governor. Is this reasonable? Is it fair to take advantage of a man like this? The girl belongs to me. You got her. Where do I come in? [He sits down again].
Higgins. Your daughter had the audacity to come to my house and ask me to teach her how to speak properly so that she could get a place in a flower-shop. This gentleman and my housekeeper have been here all the time. [Bullying him] How dare you come here and attempt to blackmail me? You sent her here on purpose.
Doolittle [protesting] No, Governor.
Higgins. You must have. How else could you possibly know that she is here?
Doolittle. Don’t take a man up like that, Governor.
Higgins. The police shall take you up. This is a plant—a plot to extort money by threats. I shall telephone for the police [he goes resolutely to the telephone and opens the directory].
Doolittle. Have I asked you for a brass farthing? I leave it to the gentleman here: have I said a word about money?
Higgins [throwing the book aside and marching down on Doolittle with a poser] What else did you come for?