one object, one passion, one desire, and to all else
her indifference was supreme. Life and death,
in this world or the next, were less weighty than
feathers in a scale that measures hundreds of tons.
The very idea of balance was for the moment beyond
her imagination. For a while indeed the pride
of a woman at once young, beautiful, and accustomed
to authority, had kept her firm in the determination
to be loved for herself, as she believed that she deserved
to be loved; and just so long as that remained, she
had held her head high, confidently expecting that
the mask of indifference would soon be shivered, that
the eyes she adored would soften with warm light, that
the hand she worshipped would tremble suddenly, as
though waking to life within her own. But that
pride was gone, and from its disappearance there had
been but one step to the most utter degradation of
soul to which a woman can descend, and from that again
but one step more to a resolution almost stupid in
its hardened obstinacy. But as though to show
how completely she was dominated by the man whom she
could not win even her last determination had yielded
under the slightest pressure from his will. She
had left her house beside him with the mad resolve
never again to be parted from him, cost what it might,
reputation, fortune, life itself. And yet ten
minutes had not elapsed before she found herself alone,
trusting to a mere word of his for the hope of ever
seeing him again. She seemed to have no individuality
left. He had spoken and she had obeyed.
He had commanded and she had done his bidding.
She was even more ashamed of this than of having wept,
and sobbed, and dragged herself at his feet.
In the first moment she had submitted, deluding herself
with the idea she had expressed, that he was consigning
her to a prison and that her freedom was dependent
on his will. The foolish delusion vanished.
She saw that she was free, when she chose, to descend
the steps she had just mounted, to go out through the
gate she had lately entered, and to go whithersoever
she would, at the mere risk of meeting Israel Kafka.
And that risk she heartily despised, being thoroughly
brave by nature, and utterly indifferent to death by
force of circumstance.
She comforted herself with the thought that the Wanderer
would come to her, once at least, when she was pleased
to send for him. She had that loyal belief inseparable
from true love until violently overthrown by irrefutable
evidence, and which sometimes has such power as to
return even then, overthrowing the evidence of the
senses themselves. Are there not men who trust
women, and women who trust men, in spite of the vilest
betrayals? Love is indeed often the inspirer of
subjective visions, creating in the beloved object
the qualities it admires and the virtues it adores,
powerless to accept what it is not willing to see,
dwelling in a fortress guarded by intangible, and
therefore indestructible, fiction and proof against
the artillery of facts. Unorna’s confidence
was, however, not misplaced. The man whose promise
she had received had told the truth when he had said
that he had never broken any promise whatsoever.