“‘Can you describe the man?’

“’Accurately.  He had blue whiskers, a wart between his shoulder blades, a touch of colic, and an occupation tax on his breath.’

“‘Which way did he go?’

“‘Out.’

“I then went—­”

“Wait a minute,” said the Populist Candidate, rising; “I don’t see why in the h——­”

“Once more I must beg that you will be silent,” said Tictocq, rather sharply.  “You should not interrupt me in the midst of my report.”

“I made one false arrest,” continued Tictocq.  “I was passing two finely dressed gentlemen on the street, when one of them remarked that he had ‘stole his socks.’  I handcuffed him and dragged him to a lighted store, when his companion explained to me that he was somewhat intoxicated and his tongue was not entirely manageable.  He had been speaking of some business transaction, and what he intended to say was that he had ’sold his stocks.’

“I then released him.

“An hour afterward I passed a saloon, and saw this Professor von Bum drinking beer at a table.  I knew him in Paris.  I said ‘here is my man.’  He worshipped Wagner, lived on limburger cheese, beer, and credit, and would have stolen anybody’s socks.  I shadowed him to the reception at Colonel St. Vitus’s, and in an opportune moment I seized him and tore the socks from his feet.  There they are.”

With a dramatic gesture, Tictocq threw a pair of dingy socks upon the table, folded his arms, and threw back his head.

With a loud cry of rage, the Populist Candidate sprang once more to his feet.

“Gol darn it!  I WILL say what I want to.  I—­”

The two other Populists in the room gazed at him coldly and sternly.

“Is this tale true?” they demanded of the Candidate.

“No, by gosh, it ain’t!” he replied, pointing a trembling finger at the Democratic Chairman.  “There stands the man who has concocted the whole scheme.  It is an infernal, unfair political trick to lose votes for our party.  How far has thing gone?” he added, turning savagely to the detective.

“All the newspapers have my written report on the matter, and the Statesman will have it in plate matter next week,” said Tictocq, complacently.

“All is lost!” said the Populists, turning toward the door.

“For God’s sake, my friends,” pleaded the Candidate, following them; “listen to me; I swear before high heaven that I never wore a pair of socks in my life.  It is all a devilish campaign lie.”

The Populists turn their backs.

“The damage is already done,” they said.  “The people have heard the story.  You have yet time to withdraw decently before the race.”

All left the room except Tictocq and the Democrats.

“Let’s all go down and open a bottle of fizz on the Finance Committee,” said the Chairman of the Executive Committee, Platform No. 2.

[Illustration:  “The Plunkville Patriot,” April 2, 1895]