“‘What do you want me to do?’ I asks George.

“‘Why,’ says he, ’I want you to head her off.  I want you to cut me out.  I want you to come to the rescue.  Suppose you seen a wildcat about for to eat me, what would you do?’

“‘Go for it,’ says I.

“‘Correct,’ says George.  ‘Then go for this Mrs. De Clinton the same.’

“‘How am I to do it?’ I asks.  ’By force and awfulness or in some gentler and less lurid manner?’

“‘Court her,’ George says, ’get her off my trail.  Feed her.  Take her out in boats.  Hang around her and stick to her.  Get her mashed on you if you can.  Some women are pretty big fools.  Who knows but what she might take a fancy to you.’

“‘Had you ever thought,’ I asks, ’of repressing your fatal fascinations in her presence; of squeezing a harsh note in the melody of your siren voice, of veiling your beauty—­in other words, of giving her the bounce yourself?’

“George sees no essence of sarcasm in my remark.  He twists his moustache and looks at the points of his shoes.

“‘Well, Simms,’ he said, ’you know how I am about the ladies.  I can’t hurt none of their feelings.  I’m, by nature, polite and esteemful of their intents and purposes.  This Mrs. De Clinton don’t appear to be the suitable sort for me.  Besides, I ain’t a marrying man by all means.’

“‘All right,’ said I, ‘I’ll do the best I can in the case.’

“So I bought a new outfit of clothes and a book on etiquette and made a dead set for Mrs. De Clinton.  She was a fine-looking woman, cheerful and gay.  At first, I almost had to hobble her to keep her from loping around at George’s heels; but finally I got her so she seemed glad to go riding with me and sailing on the lake; and she seemed real hurt on the mornings when I forgot to send her a bunch of flowers.  Still, I didn’t like the way she looked at George, sometimes, out of the corner of her eye.  George was having a fine time now, going with the whole bunch just as he pleased.  Yes’m,” continued Bell, “she certainly was a fine-looking woman at that time.  She’s changed some since, as you might have noticed at the supper table.”

“What!” I exclaimed.

“I married Mrs. De Clinton,” went on Bell.  “One evening while we were up at the lake.  When I told George about it, he opened his mouth and I thought he was going to break our traditions and say something grateful, but he swallowed it back.

“‘All right,’ says he, playing with his dog.  ’I hope you won’t have too much trouble.  Myself, I’m not never going to marry.’

“That was three years ago,” said Bell.  “We came here to live.  For a year we got along medium fine.  And then everything changed.  For two years I’ve been having something that rhymes first-class with my name.  You heard the row upstairs this evening?  That was a merry welcome compared to the usual average.  She’s tired of me and of this little town life and she rages all day, like a panther in a cage.  I stood it until two weeks ago and then I had to send out The Call.  I located George in Sacramento.  He started the day he got my wire.”