In both these directions our sympathies are constipated.  We are apostles of our own caste and our own subject of study, instead of being, as we should, true men and Loving students.  Of course both of these could be corrected by the students themselves; but this is nothing to the purpose:  it is more important to ask whether the Senatus or the body of alumni could do nothing towards the growth of better feeling and wider sentiments.  Perhaps in another paper we may say something upon this head.

One other word, however, before we have done.  What shall we be when we grow really old?  Of yore, a man was thought to lay on restrictions and acquire new deadweight of mournful experience with every year, till he looked back on his youth as the very summer of impulse and freedom.  We please ourselves with thinking that it cannot be so with us.  We would fain hope that, as we have begun in one way, we may end in another; and that when we are in fact the octogenarians that we seem at present, there shall be no merrier men on earth.  It is pleasant to picture us, sunning ourselves in Princes Street of a morning, or chirping over our evening cups, with all the merriment that we wanted in youth.

CHAPTER III—­DEBATING SOCIETIES

A debating society is at first somewhat of a disappointment.  You do not often find the youthful Demosthenes chewing his pebbles in the same room with you; or, even if you do, you will probably think the performance little to be admired.  As a general rule, the members speak shamefully ill.  The subjects of debate are heavy; and so are the fines.  The Ballot Question—­oldest of dialectic nightmares—­is often found astride of a somnolent sederunt.  The Greeks and Romans, too, are reserved as sort of general-utility men, to do all the dirty work of illustration; and they fill as many functions as the famous waterfall scene at the ‘Princess’s,’ which I found doing duty on one evening as a gorge in Peru, a haunt of German robbers, and a peaceful vale in the Scottish borders.  There is a sad absence of striking argument or real lively discussion.  Indeed, you feel a growing contempt for your fellow-members; and it is not until you rise yourself to hawk and hesitate and sit shamefully down again, amid eleemosynary applause, that you begin to find your level and value others rightly.  Even then, even when failure has damped your critical ardour, you will see many things to be laughed at in the deportment of your rivals.

Most laughable, perhaps, are your indefatigable strivers after eloquence.  They are of those who ’pursue with eagerness the phantoms of hope,’ and who, since they expect that ’the deficiencies of last sentence will be supplied by the next,’ have been recommended by Dr. Samuel Johnson to ’attend to the History of Rasselas, Prince of Abyssinia.’  They are characterised by a hectic hopefulness.