“Duty calls me,” I declared.  “You see, I was born in France.  Shabby treatment on my parents’ part I’ve always thought it; if they had hurried home before the event I might have been President and declared war here instead of hunting one across the seas.  In that case, Dunny, I should have heeded your plea and stayed; but since I’m ineligible for chief executive, why linger on this side?”

He scowled blackly.

“I’ll tell you what it is, my boy,” he accused, with lifted forefinger.  “You like to pose—­that’s what is the matter with you!  You like to act stolid, matter-of-fact, correct; you want to sit in your ambulance and smoke cigarettes indifferently and raise your eyebrows superciliously when shrapnel bursts round.  And it’s all very well now; it looks picturesque; it looks good form, very.  But how old are you, eh, Dev?  Twenty-eight is it?  Twenty-nine?”

“You should know—­none better—­that I am thirty,” I responded.  “Haven’t you remembered each anniversary since I was five, beginning with a hobby-horse and working up through knives and rifles and ponies to the latest thing in cars?”

Dunny lowered his accusing finger and tapped it on the cloth.

“Thirty,” he repeated fatefully.  “All right, Dev.  Strong and fit as an ox, and a crack polo-player and a fair shot and boxer and not bad with boats and cars and horses and pretty well off, too.  So when you look bored, it’s picturesque; but wait!  Wait ten years, till you take on flesh, and the doctor puts you on diet, and you stop hunting chances to kill yourself, but play golf like me.  Then, my boy, when you look stolid you won’t be romantic.  You’ll be stodgy, my boy.  That’s what you’ll be!”

Of all words in the dictionary there is surely none worse than this one.  The suggestions of stodginess are appalling, including, even at best, hints of overweight, general uninterestingness, and a disposition to sit at home in smoking-jacket and slippers after one’s evening meal.  As my guardian suggested, my first youth was over.  I held up both my hands in token that I asked for grace.

“Kamerad!” I begged pathetically.  “Come, Dunny, let’s be sociable.  After all, you know, it’s my last evening; and if you call me such names, you will be sorry when I am gone.  By the way, speaking of Huns—­it was you, the neutral, who mentioned them,—­does it strike you there are quite a few of them on the staff of this hotel?  I hope they won’t poison me.  Look at the head waiter, look at half the waiters round, and see that blond-haired, blue-eyed menial.  Do you think he saw his first daylight in these United States?”

The menial in question was a uniformed bellboy winding in and out among tables and paging some elusive guest.  As he approached, his chant grew plainer.

“Mr. Bayne,” he was droning.  “Room four hundred and three.”

I raised a hand in summons, and he paused beside my seat.