she had just been looking through Count Anteoni’s
field-glasses, the man who had fled from prayer in
the “Garden of Allah.” As she glanced
at the empty chair standing before the knives and
forks, and the white cloth, she was uncertain whether
she wished it to be filled by the traveller or not.
She felt his presence in Beni-Mora as a warring element.
That she knew. She knew also that she had come
there to find peace, a great calm and remoteness in
which she could at last grow, develop, loose her true
self from cramping bondage, come to an understanding
with herself, face her heart and soul, and—as
it were—look them in the eyes and know
them for what they were, good or evil. In the
presence of this total stranger there was something
unpleasantly distracting which she could not and did
not ignore, something which roused her antagonism
and which at the same time compelled her attention.
She had been conscious of it in the train, conscious
of it in the tunnel at twilight, at night in the hotel,
and once again in Count Anteoni’s garden.
This man intruded himself, no doubt unconsciously,
or even against his will, into her sight, her thoughts,
each time that she was on the point of giving herself
to what Count Anteoni called “the desert spirits.”
So it had been when the train ran out of the tunnel
into the blue country. So it had been again when
she leaned on the white wall and gazed out over the
shining fastnesses of the sun. He was there like
an enemy, like something determined, egoistical, that
said to her, “You would look at the greatness
of the desert, at immensity, infinity, God!—Look
at me.” And she could not turn her eyes
away. Each time the man had, as if without effort,
conquered the great competing power, fastened her thoughts
upon himself, set her imagination working about his
life, even made her heart beat faster with some thrill
of—what? Was it pity? Was it a
faint horror? She knew that to call the feeling
merely repugnance would not be sincere. The intensity,
the vitality of the force shut up in a human being
almost angered her at this moment as she looked at
the empty chair and realised all that it had suddenly
set at work. There was something insolent in
humanity as well as something divine, and just then
she felt the insolence more than the divinity.
Terrifically greater, more overpowering than man,
the desert was yet also somehow less than man, feebler,
vaguer. Or else how could she have been grasped,
moved, turned to curiosity, surmise, almost to a sort
of dread—all at the desert’s expense—by
the distant moving figure seen through the glasses?
Yes, as she looked at the little white table and thought of all this, Domini began to feel angry. But she was capable of effort, whether mental or physical, and now she resolutely switched her mind off from the antagonistic stranger and devoted her thoughts to the priest, whose narrow back she saw down the room in the distance. As she ate her fish—a mystery of the seas of Robertville—she imagined