up the little dog in his arms, and, holding him, walked
to the house door. In a moment it was opened
and he went in. Then Domini set out towards the
garden, avoiding the village street, and taking a
byway which skirted the desert. She walked quickly.
She longed to be within the shadows of the garden behind
the white wall. She did not feel much, think
much, as she walked. Without self-consciously
knowing it she was holding all her nature, the whole
of herself, fiercely in check. She did not look
about her, did not see the sunlit reaches of the desert,
or the walls of the houses of Beni-Mora, or the palm
trees. Only when she had passed the hotel and
the negro village and turned to the left, to the track
at the edge of which the villa of Count Anteoni stood,
did she lift her eyes from the ground. They rested
on the white arcade framing the fierce blue of the
cloudless sky. She stopped short. Her nature
seemed to escape from the leash by which she had held
it in with a rush, to leap forward, to be in the garden
and in the past, in the past with its passion and its
fiery hopes, its magnificent looking forward, its
holy desires of joy that would crown her woman’s
life, of love that would teach her all the depth,
and the height, and the force and the submission of
her womanhood. And then, from that past, it strove
on into the present. The shock was as the shock
of battle. There were noises in her ears, voices
clamouring in her heart. All her pulses throbbed
like hammers, and then suddenly she felt as weak as
a little sick child, and as if she must lie down there
on the dust of the white road in the sunshine, lie
down and die at the edge of the desert that had treated
her cruelly, that had slain the hopes it had given
to her and brought into her heart this terrible despair.
For now she knew a moment of utter despair, in which
all things seemed to dissolve into atoms and sink
down out of her sight. She stood quivering in
blackness. She stood absolutely alone, more absolutely
alone than any woman had ever been, than any human
being had ever been. She seemed presently, as
the blackness faded into something pale, like a ghastly
twilight, to see herself—her wraith, as
it were—standing in a vast landscape, vast
as the desert, companionless, lost, forgotten, out
of mind, watching for something that would never come,
listening for some voice that was hushed in eternal
silence.
That was to be her life, she thought—could
she face it? Could she endure it? And everything
within her said to her that she could not.
And then, just then, when she felt that she must sink
down and give up the battle of life, she seemed to
see by her side a shape, a little shape like a child.
And it lifted up a hand to her hand.
And she knew that the vast landscape was God’s
garden, the Garden of Allah, and that no day, no night
could ever pass without God walking in it.
Hearing a knock upon the great gate of the garden
Smain uncurled himself on his mat within the tent,
rose lazily to his feet, and, without a rose, strolled
languidly to open to the visitor. Domini stood
without. When he saw her he smiled quietly, with
no surprise.