The Essays of Montaigne — Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,716 pages of information about The Essays of Montaigne — Complete.

The Essays of Montaigne — Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,716 pages of information about The Essays of Montaigne — Complete.
their very inanity gives them weight and reverence.  And, certain it is, that my figures approved themselves more venereal than solar, more active than prohibitive.  ’Twas a sudden whimsey, mixed with a little curiosity, that made me do a thing so contrary to my nature; for I am an enemy to all subtle and counterfeit actions, and abominate all manner of trickery, though it be for sport, and to an advantage; for though the action may not be vicious in itself, its mode is vicious.

Amasis, King of Egypt, having married Laodice, a very beautiful Greek virgin, though noted for his abilities elsewhere, found himself quite another man with his wife, and could by no means enjoy her; at which he was so enraged, that he threatened to kill her, suspecting her to be a witch.  As ’tis usual in things that consist in fancy, she put him upon devotion, and having accordingly made his vows to Venus, he found himself divinely restored the very first night after his oblations and sacrifices.  Now women are to blame to entertain us with that disdainful, coy, and angry countenance, which extinguishes our vigour, as it kindles our desire; which made the daughter-in-law of Pythagoras—­[Theano, the lady in question was the wife, not the daughter-in-law of Pythagoras.]—­ say, “That the woman who goes to bed to a man, must put off her modesty with her petticoat, and put it on again with the same.”  The soul of the assailant, being disturbed with many several alarms, readily loses the power of performance; and whoever the imagination has once put this trick upon, and confounded with the shame of it (and she never does it but at the first acquaintance, by reason men are then more ardent and eager, and also, at this first account a man gives of himself, he is much more timorous of miscarrying), having made an ill beginning, he enters into such fever and despite at the accident, as are apt to remain and continue with him upon following occasions.

Married people, having all their time before them, ought never to compel or so much as to offer at the feat, if they do not find themselves quite ready:  and it is less unseemly to fail of handselling the nuptial sheets, when a man perceives himself full of agitation and trembling, and to await another opportunity at more private and more composed leisure, than to make himself perpetually miserable, for having misbehaved himself and been baffled at the first assault.  Till possession be taken, a man that knows himself subject to this infirmity, should leisurely and by degrees make several little trials and light offers, without obstinately attempting at once, to Force an absolute conquest over his own mutinous and indisposed faculties.  Such as know their members to be naturally obedient, need take no other care but only to counterplot their fantasies.

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The Essays of Montaigne — Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.