Amidst this disaffection of a large number of the chiefs of the army, the defection of Bavaria was learned, and gave an added strength to the anxiety and discontent inspired by the Emperor’s resolution; and then occurred what had never taken place before:  his staff united their entreaties that he should abandon his plans in regard to Berlin, and march on Leipzig.  I saw how much the Emperor suffered from the necessity of listening to such remonstrances, notwithstanding the respectful language in which they were couched.  For two entire days his Majesty remained undecided; and how long these forty-eight hours were!  Never did abandoned cabin or bivouac present a more mournful sight than the sad chateau of Duben.  In this doleful residence I saw the Emperor for the first time entirely unemployed; the indecision to which he was a prey absorbed him so entirely that his character seemed entirely changed.  Who could believe it?  To the activity which drove him on, and, so to speak, incessantly devoured him, had succeeded a seeming indifference which is perfectly indescribable.  I saw him lie on the sofa nearly a whole day, the table before him covered with maps and papers at which he did not even glance, and with no other occupation for hours than slowly tracing large letters on sheets of white paper.  This was while he was vacillating between his own will and the entreaties of his generals.  At the end of two days of most painful suspense he yielded; and from that time all was lost.  How much better it would have been had he not listened to their complaints, but had again allowed himself to be guided by the presentiments which possessed him!  He repeated often, with grief, while recalling the concessions he made at that time, “I should have avoided many disasters by continuing to follow my own impulses; I failed only by yielding to those of others.”

The order for departure was given; and as if the army felt as much pride in triumphing over the will of its Emperor as they would have felt in beating the enemy by obeying the dictates of his genius, they abandoned themselves to outbursts of joy which were almost beyond reason.  Every countenance was radiant.  “We shall now,” they repeated on all sides, “we shall now see France again, embrace our children, our parents, and our friends!” The Emperor and Marshal Augereau alone did not share the general light-heartedness.  The Duke of Castiglione had just arrived at headquarters, after having in some measure avenged on the army of Bohemia, Vandamme’s defeat.  He, like the Emperor, had dark presentiments as to the consequences of this retrograde movement, and knew that desertions on the way would add to the number of the enemy, and were so much the more dangerous since these deserters had so recently been our allies and knew our positions.  His Majesty yielded with a full conviction of the evil which would result; and I heard him at the end of a conversation with the marshal which had lasted more than an hour, utter these words, “They would have it so.”