deep emotion, and tears prevented her from continuing.
She threw herself on the ottoman on the left of the
fireplace, and beckoned me to sit down beside her.
Hortense stood by the fireplace, endeavouring to conceal
her tears. Josephine took my hand, which she
pressed in both her own; and, after a struggle to
overcome her feelings, she said, “My dear Bourrienne,
I have drained my cup of misery. He has cast
me off! forsaken me! He conferred upon me the
vain title of Empress only to render my fall the more
marked. Ah! we judged him rightly! I knew
the destiny that awaited me; for what would he not
sacrifice to his ambition!” As she finished
these words one of Queen Hortense’s ladies entered
with a message to her; Hortense stayed a few moments,
apparently to recover from the emotion under which
she was labouring, and then withdrew, so that I was
left alone with Josephine. She seemed to wish
for the relief of disclosing her sorrows, which I was
curious to hear from her own lips; women have such
a striking way of telling their distresses.
Josephine confirmed what Duroc had told me respecting
the two apartments at Fontainebleau; then, coming
to the period when Bonaparte had declared to her the
necessity of a separation, she said, “My dear
Bourrienne; during all the years you were with us you
know I made you the confidant of my thoughts, and
kept you acquainted with my sad forebodings.
They are now cruelly fulfilled. I acted the
part of a good wife to the very last. I have
suffered all, and I am resigned! . . . What
fortitude did it require latterly to endure my situation,
when, though no longer his wife, I was obliged to
seem so in the eyes of the world! With what
eyes do courtiers look upon a repudiated wife!
I was in a state of vague uncertainty worse than
death until the fatal day when he at length avowed
to me what I had long before read in his looks!
On the 30th of November 1809 we were dining together
as usual, I had not uttered a word during that sad
dinner, and he had broken silence only to ask one
of the servants what o’clock it was. As
soon as Bonaparte had taken his coffee he dismissed
all the attendants, and I remained alone with him.
I saw in the expression of his countenance what was
passing in his mind, and I knew that my hour was come.
He stepped up to me—he was trembling,
and I shuddered; he took my hand, pressed it to his
heart, and after gazing at me for a few moments in
silence he uttered these fatal words: ’Josephine!
my dear Josephine! You know how I have loved
you! . . . To you, to you alone, I owe the
only moments of happiness I have tasted in this world.
But, Josephine, my destiny is not to be controlled
by my will. My dearest affections must yield
to the interests of France.’—’Say
no more,’ I exclaimed, ’I understand you;
I expected this, but the blow is not the less mortal.’
I could not say another word,” continued Josephine;
“I know not what happened after I seemed to lose
my reason; I became insensible, and when I recovered
I found myself in my chamber. Your friend Corvisart
and my poor daughter were with me. Bonaparte
came to see me in the evening; and oh! Bourrienne,
how can I describe to you what I felt at the sight
of him; even the interest he evinced for me seemed
an additional cruelty. Alas! I had good
reason to fear ever becoming an Empress!”