He thought the best thing he had gained in Paris was a complete liberty of spirit, and he felt himself at last absolutely free.  In a desultory way he had read a good deal of philosophy, and he looked forward with delight to the leisure of the next few months.  He began to read at haphazard.  He entered upon each system with a little thrill of excitement, expecting to find in each some guide by which he could rule his conduct; he felt himself like a traveller in unknown countries and as he pushed forward the enterprise fascinated him; he read emotionally, as other men read pure literature, and his heart leaped as he discovered in noble words what himself had obscurely felt.  His mind was concrete and moved with difficulty in regions of the abstract; but, even when he could not follow the reasoning, it gave him a curious pleasure to follow the tortuosities of thoughts that threaded their nimble way on the edge of the incomprehensible.  Sometimes great philosophers seemed to have nothing to say to him, but at others he recognised a mind with which he felt himself at home.  He was like the explorer in Central Africa who comes suddenly upon wide uplands, with great trees in them and stretches of meadow, so that he might fancy himself in an English park.  He delighted in the robust common sense of Thomas Hobbes; Spinoza filled him with awe, he had never before come in contact with a mind so noble, so unapproachable and austere; it reminded him of that statue by Rodin, L’Age d’Airain, which he passionately admired; and then there was Hume:  the scepticism of that charming philosopher touched a kindred note in Philip; and, revelling in the lucid style which seemed able to put complicated thought into simple words, musical and measured, he read as he might have read a novel, a smile of pleasure on his lips.  But in none could he find exactly what he wanted.  He had read somewhere that every man was born a Platonist, an Aristotelian, a Stoic, or an Epicurean; and the history of George Henry Lewes (besides telling you that philosophy was all moonshine) was there to show that the thought of each philospher was inseparably connected with the man he was.  When you knew that you could guess to a great extent the philosophy he wrote.  It looked as though you did not act in a certain way because you thought in a certain way, but rather that you thought in a certain way because you were made in a certain way.  Truth had nothing to do with it.  There was no such thing as truth.  Each man was his own philosopher, and the elaborate systems which the great men of the past had composed were only valid for the writers.

The thing then was to discover what one was and one’s system of philosophy would devise itself.  It seemed to Philip that there were three things to find out:  man’s relation to the world he lives in, man’s relation with the men among whom he lives, and finally man’s relation to himself.  He made an elaborate plan of study.