romance of the crowded stream below London Bridge.
In the afternoon he walked about the common; and that
is gray and dingy too; it is neither country nor town;
the gorse is stunted; and all about is the litter
of civilisation. He went to a play every Saturday
night and stood cheerfully for an hour or more at
the gallery-door. It was not worth while to go
back to Barnes for the interval between the closing
of the Museum and his meal in an A. B. C. shop, and
the time hung heavily on his hands. He strolled
up Bond Street or through the Burlington Arcade, and
when he was tired went and sat down in the Park or
in wet weather in the public library in St. Martin’s
Lane. He looked at the people walking about and
envied them because they had friends; sometimes his
envy turned to hatred because they were happy and
he was miserable. He had never imagined that
it was possible to be so lonely in a great city.
Sometimes when he was standing at the gallery-door
the man next to him would attempt a conversation;
but Philip had the country boy’s suspicion of
strangers and answered in such a way as to prevent
any further acquaintance. After the play was
over, obliged to keep to himself all he thought about
it, he hurried across the bridge to Waterloo.
When he got back to his rooms, in which for economy
no fire had been lit, his heart sank. It was horribly
cheerless. He began to loathe his lodgings and
the long solitary evenings he spent in them.
Sometimes he felt so lonely that he could not read,
and then he sat looking into the fire hour after hour
in bitter wretchedness.
He had spent three months in London now, and except
for that one Sunday at Hampstead had never talked
to anyone but his fellow-clerks. One evening
Watson asked him to dinner at a restaurant and they
went to a music-hall together; but he felt shy and
uncomfortable. Watson talked all the time of
things he did not care about, and while he looked upon
Watson as a Philistine he could not help admiring
him. He was angry because Watson obviously set
no store on his culture, and with his way of taking
himself at the estimate at which he saw others held
him he began to despise the acquirements which till
then had seemed to him not unimportant. He felt
for the first time the humiliation of poverty.
His uncle sent him fourteen pounds a month and he
had had to buy a good many clothes. His evening
suit cost him five guineas. He had not dared
tell Watson that it was bought in the Strand.
Watson said there was only one tailor in London.
“I suppose you don’t dance,” said
Watson, one day, with a glance at Philip’s club-foot.
“No,” said Philip.
“Pity. I’ve been asked to bring some
dancing men to a ball. I could have introduced
you to some jolly girls.”