the pity of it!  By Allah thou art lost and the La Haul of Allah[FN#485] is upon thee and doubtless thou hast no children.”  Now when the man heard these words he exclaimed, “Why, O Woman?” for indeed fear and affright had sunk deep into his heart.  She rejoined, “Verily my husband hath not brought thee hither save with the intention of cutting off thy precious stones the honours of thy yard[FN#486] and of gelding thee to a Castrato; and heigho and alas for thee whether thou die or whether thou live, and Oh the pity of it for thee!” Now when the man heard this speech, he arose in haste and hurry and rushed out by the door, when behold, the husband came bringing with him two of his familiars.  So the wife met him at the entrance and said to him, “O Man, O miserablest of men, O thou disappointed, O thou dissatisfied,[FN#487] thou hast brought to me a fellow which was a thief, a ne’er-do-well like unto thyself.”  “How so?” asked he, and she answered, “The man stole the two geese and stole away.”  Thereupon the husband went out and catching sight of the guest running off shouted to him, “Come back!  Come back! even although thou bring only one with thee and take the other.”  Cried the man in reply, “An thou catch me do thou take thee the two.  But the house-master meant the two geese whilst the man who was running away thought only of himself, saying in his mind, “This one speaketh of my ballocks, meaning that he will take only one of my stones[FN#488] and leave me the other.”  So he ceased not running and the other followed after him, but being unable to catch him he returned to his guests and served them with somewhat of bread and so forth, whilst the woman kept blaming him and nagging about the matter of the geese which she said had been carried off, but which had been given by her to her lover.  The husband enjoined her to silence; however she would not hold her peace[FN#489] and on this wise he was balked of the meal to feed his wife’s friend.  And now (quoth Shahrazad) I will relate to you somewhat of the wiles of an honest woman, and thereupon she fell to recounting the adventure of

The Kazi schooled by his wife.

It is related of a man which was a Kazi that he had a wife of the virtuous and the righteous and of the charitable and the pitiful to the orphan and the pauper; and the same was beautiful exceedingly.  Her husband held and was certified anent womankind that all and every were like unto his spouse; so that when any male masculant came into his court[FN#490] complaining about his rib he would deliver his decision that the man was a wrong-doer and that the woman was wronged.  On such wise he did because he saw that his wife was the pink of perfection and he opined that the whole of her sex resembled her, and he knew naught of the wickedness and debauchery of the genus and their sorcery and their contrariety and the cunning contrivance wherewith they work upon men’s wits.  He