The Three Hundred and Ninety-first Night,

Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that quoth the Kazi’s wife, “By Allah, O King of the Age, the story of this Kazi is a strange and of the wonders of the world and ’tis as follows.  My spouse is so niggardly of nature and greedy of gain that whatso wife he weddeth he starveth her with hunger and, whenas she loseth patience, he shreddeth her nostrils and putteth her away, taking all her good and what not.  Now this case continued for a while of time.  Also he had a black slave-wench and a fine eating-cloth and when dinner-time came he would cry, O handmaid, fetch the fringed table-cloth! whereupon she would bring it and garnish it with three biscuits and three onions, one to each mouth.  Presently accounts of this conduct came to me at Mosul, whereupon I removed me to Tarabulus, and there played him many a prank amongst which was the dish of Baysar by me seasoned with an over quantity of onions and garlic and such spices as gather wind in the maw and distend it like a tom-tom and breed borborygms.[FN#221] This I gave him to eat and then befel that which befel.  So I said to him, Thou art in the family way and tricked him, privily bringing into the house a new-born babe.  When his belly began to drain off I set under him a large metal basin and after pinching the little one I placed it in the utensil and recited Names over it.  Presently quoth he, Guard my little stranger from the draught and bring hither a wet-nurse; and I did accordingly.  But he waxed ashamed of the birth and in the morning he fared forth the city nor knew we what Allah had done with him.  But as he went I bespake him with the words which the poet sang when the Ass of Umm Amr[FN#222] went off:—­

Ass and Umm Amr bewent their way; * Nor Ass nor Umm Amr returned
     for aye,

and then I cited the saying of another:—­

When I forced him to fare I bade him hie, * Where Umm
     Kash’am[FN#223] caused her selle to fly.”

Now as the Caliph Harun al-Rashid heard these words he laughed so hearty a laugh that he fell backwards and bade the goodwife repeat her history till he waxed distraught for excess of merriment, when lo and behold! a Darwaysh suddenly entered the presence.  The wife looked at her husband and recognised him; but the Caliph knew not his Kazi, so much had time and trouble changed the Judge’s cheer.  However, she signalled to the Commander of the Faithful that the beggar was her mate and he taking the hint cried out, “Welcome to thee, O Darwaysh, and where be the babe thou bearest at Tarabulus?” The unfortunate replied, “O King of the Age, do men go with child?”