and then she determined to find out from Barlow the
address of the people who had Mr. Libby’s horse,
and send it to them for him by the driver of the barge.
She would approach the driver with a nonchalant, imperious
air, and ask him to please have that delivered to Mr.
Libby immediately; and in case he learned from the
stable-people that he was not in Leyden, to bring
the letter back to her. She saw how the driver
would take it, and then she figured Libby opening and
reading it. She sometimes figured him one way,
and sometimes another. Sometimes he rapidly scanned
the lines, and then instantly ordered his horse, and
feverishly hastened the men; again he deliberately
read it, and then tore it into stall pieces, with
a laugh, and flung them away. This conception
of his behavior made her heart almost stop beating;
but there was a luxury in it, too, and she recurred
to it quite as often as to the other, which led her
to a dramatization of their meeting, with all their
parley minutely realized, and every most intimate
look and thought imagined. There is of course
no means of proving that this sort of mental exercise
was in any degree an exercise of the reason, or that
Dr. Breen did not behave unprofessionally in giving
herself up to it. She could only have claimed
in self-defence that she was no longer aiming at a
professional behavior; that she was in fact abandoning
herself to a recovered sense of girlhood and all its
sweetest irresponsibilities. Those who would excuse
so weak and capricious a character may urge, if they
like, that she was behaving as wisely as a young physician
of the other sex would have done in the circumstances.
She concluded to remain on the beach, where only the
children were playing in the sand, and where she could
easily escape any other companionship that threatened.
After she had walked long enough to spend the first
passion of her reverie, she sat down under the cliff,
and presently grew conscious of his boat swinging
at anchor in its wonted place, and wondered that she
had not thought he must come back for that. Then
she had a mind to tear up her letter as superfluous;
but she did not. She rose from her place under
the cliff, and went to look for the dory. She
found it drawn up on the sand in a little cove.
It was the same place, and the water was so shoal
for twenty feet out that no one could have rowed the
dory to land; it must be dragged up. She laughed
and blushed, and then boldly amused herself by looking
for footprints; but the tide must have washed them
out long ago; there were only the light, small footprints
of the children who had been playing about the dory.
She brushed away some sand they had scattered over
the seat, and got into the boat and sat down there.
It was a good seat, and commanded a view of the sail-boat
in the foreground of the otherwise empty ocean; she
took out her letter, and let it lie in the open hands
which she let lie in her lap.
She was not impatient to have the time pass; it went
only too soon. Though she indulged that luxury
of terror in imagining her letter torn up and scornfully
thrown away, she really rested quite safe as to the
event; but she liked this fond delay, and the soft
blue afternoon might have lasted forever to her entire
content.