you must, over and above your general merit, have some particular merit to that person by services done, or offered; by expressions of regard and esteem; by complaisance, attentions, etc., for him.  And the graceful manner of doing all these things opens the way to the heart, and facilitates, or rather insures, their effects.  From your own observation, reflect what a disagreeable impression an awkward address, a slovenly figure, an ungraceful manner of speaking, whether stuttering, muttering, monotony, or drawling, an unattentive behavior, etc., make upon you, at first sight, in a stranger, and how they prejudice you against him, though for aught you know, he may have great intrinsic sense and merit.  And reflect, on the other hand, how much the opposites of all these things prepossess you, at first sight, in favor of those who enjoy them.  You wish to find all good qualities in them, and are in some degree disappointed if you do not.  A thousand little things, not separately to be defined, conspire to form these graces, this je ne sais quoi, that always please.  A pretty person, genteel motions, a proper degree of dress, an harmonious voice, something open and cheerful in the countenance, but without laughing; a distinct and properly varied manner of speaking:  All these things, and many others, are necessary ingredients in the composition of the pleasing je ne sais quoi, which everybody feels, though nobody can describe.  Observe carefully, then, what displeases or pleases you in others, and be persuaded, that in general; the same things will please or displease them in you.  Having mentioned laughing, I must particularly warn you against it:  and I could heartily wish, that you may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh while you live.  Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and in manners; it is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy at silly things; and they call it being merry.  In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill-bred, as audible laughter.  True wit, or sense, never yet made anybody laugh; they are above it:  They please the mind, and give a cheerfulness to the countenance.  But it is low buffoonery, or silly accidents, that always excite laughter; and that is what people of sense and breeding should show themselves above.  A man’s going to sit down, in the supposition that he has a chair behind him, and falling down upon his breech for want of one, sets a whole company a laughing, when all the wit in the world would not do it; a plain proof, in my mind, how low and unbecoming a thing laughter is:  not to mention the disagreeable noise that it makes, and the shocking distortion of the face that it occasions.  Laughter is easily restrained, by a very little reflection; but as it is generally connected with the idea of gaiety, people do not enough attend to its absurdity.  I am neither of a melancholy nor a cynical disposition, and am as willing and as apt to be pleased as anybody; but I