and desired them who had them not, though many have
enjoyed them merely by desiring, and without deserving
them. You do not imagine, I believe, that I mean
by this public love the sentimental love of either
lovers or intimate friends; no, that is of another
nature, and confined to a very narrow circle; but
I mean that general good-will which a man may acquire
in the world, by the arts of pleasing respectively
exerted according to the rank, the situation, and the
turn of mind of those whom he hath to do with.
The pleasing impressions which he makes upon them
will engage their affections and their good wishes,
and even their good offices as far (that is) as they
are not inconsistent with their own interests; for
further than that you are not to expect from three
people in the course of your life, even were it extended
to the patriarchal term. Could I revert to the
age of twenty, and carry back with me all the experience
that forty years more have taught me, I can assure
you, that I would employ much the greatest part of
my time in engaging the good-will, and in insinuating
myself into the predilection of people in general,
instead of directing my endeavors to please (as I
was too apt to do) to the man whom I immediately wanted,
or the woman I wished for, exclusively of all others.
For if one happens (and it will sometimes happen to
the ablest man) to fail in his views with that man
or that woman, one is at a loss to know whom to address
one’s self to next, having offended in general,
by that exclusive and distinguished particular application.
I would secure a general refuge in the good-will of
the multitude, which is a great strength to any man;
for both ministers and mistresses choose popular and
fashionable favorites. A man who solicits a minister,
backed by the general good-will and good wishes of
mankind, solicits with great weight and great probability
of success; and a woman is strangely biassed in favor
of a man whom she sees in fashion, and hears everybody
speak well of. This useful art of insinuation
consists merely of various little things. A graceful
motion, a significant look, a trifling attention,
an obliging word dropped ’a propos’, air,
dress, and a thousand other undefinable things, all
severally little ones, joined together, make that happy
and inestimable composition, the art of
pleasing. I have in my life seen many a very
handsome woman who has not pleased me, and many very
sensible men who have disgusted me. Why? only
for want of those thousand little means to please,
which those women, conscious of their beauty, and those
men of their sense, have been grossly enough mistaken
to neglect. I never was so much in love in my
life, as I was with a woman who was very far from
being handsome; but then she was made up of graces,
and had all the arts of pleasing. The following
verses, which I have read in some congratulatory poem
prefixed to some work, I have forgot which, express
what I mean in favor of what pleases preferably to
what is generally called mare solid and instructive: