at your service; and I do not desire one grain of
your spirit in return. Use them both, and let
them reciprocally animate and check each other.
I mean here, by the spirit of youth, only the vivacity
and presumption of youth, which hinder them from seeing
the difficulties or dangers of an undertaking, but
I do not mean what the silly vulgar call spirit, by
which they are captious, jealous of their rank, suspicious
of being undervalued, and tart (as they call it) in
their repartees, upon the slightest occasions.
This is an evil, and a very silly spirit, which should
be driven out, and transferred to an herd of swine.
This is not the spirit of a man of fashion, who has
kept good company. People of an ordinary, low
education, when they happen to fail into good company,
imagine themselves the only object of its attention;
if the company whispers, it is, to be sure, concerning
them; if they laugh, it is at them; and if anything
ambiguous, that by the most forced interpretation
can be applied to them, happens to be said, they are
convinced that it was meant at them; upon which they
grow out of countenance first, and then angry.
This mistake is very well ridiculed in the “Stratagem,”
where Scrub says, I am sure they talked
of me for they laughed consumedly.
A well-bred man seldom thinks, but never seems to
think himself slighted, undervalued, or laughed at
in company, unless where it is so plainly marked out,
that his honor obliges him to resent it in a proper
manner; ‘mais les honnetes gens ne se boudent
jamais’. I will admit that it is very difficult
to command one’s self enough, to behave with
ease, frankness, and good-breeding toward those, who
one knows dislike, slight, and injure one, as far
as they can, without personal consequences; but I
assert that it is absolutely necessary to do it:
you must embrace the man you hate, if you cannot be
justified in knocking him down; for otherwise you
avow the injury which you cannot revenge. A prudent
cuckold (and there are many such at Paris) pockets
his horns when he cannot gore with them; and will
not add to the triumph of his maker by only butting
with them ineffectually. A seeming ignorance
is very often a most necessary part of worldly knowledge.
It is, for instance, commonly advisable to seem ignorant
of what people offer to tell you; and when they say,
Have you not heard of such a thing? to answer No,
and to let them go on; though you know it already.
Some have a pleasure in telling it, because they think
that they tell it well; others have a pride in it,
as being the sagacious discoverers; and many have
a vanity in showing that they have been, though very
undeservedly, trusted; all these would be disappointed,
and consequently displeased, if you said Yes.
Seem always ignorant (unless to one’s most intimate
friend) of all matters of private scandal and defamation,
though you should hear them a thousand times; for
the parties affected always look upon the receiver