think so little worth their care, that they neglect
even common civility toward them. I will frankly
confess to you, that this was one of my great faults
when I was of your age. Very attentive to please
that narrow court circle in which I stood enchanted,
I considered everything else as bourgeois, and unworthy
of common civility; I paid my court assiduously and
skillfully enough to shining and distinguished figures,
such as ministers, wits, and beauties; but then I
most absurdly and imprudently neglected, and consequently
offended all others. By this folly I made myself
a thousand enemies of both sexes; who, though I thought
them very insignificant, found means to hurt me essentially
where I wanted to recommend myself the most.
I was thought proud, though I was only imprudent.
A general easy civility and attention to the common
run of ugly women, and of middling men, both which
I sillily thought, called, and treated, as odd people,
would have made me as many friends, as by the contrary
conduct I made myself enemies. All this too was
‘a pure perte’; for I might equally, and
even more successfully, have made my court, when I
had particular views to gratify. I will allow
that this task is often very unpleasant, and that
one pays, with some unwillingness, that tribute of
attention to dull and tedious men, and to old and
ugly women; but it is the lowest price of popularity
and general applause, which are very well worth purchasing
were they much dearer. I conclude this head with
this advice to you: Gain, by particular assiduity
and address, the men and women you want; and, by an
universal civility and attention, please everybody
so far as to have their good word, if not their goodwill;
or, at least, as to secure a partial neutrality.
‘Mauvaise honte’ not only hinders young
people from making, a great many friends, but makes
them a great many enemies. They are ashamed of
doing the thing they know to be right, and would otherwise
do, for fear of the momentary laugh of some fine gentleman
or lady, or of some ’mauvais plaisant’.
I have been in this case: and have often wished
an obscure acquaintance at the devil, for meeting
and taking notice of me when I was in what I thought
and called fine company. I have returned their
notice shyly, awkwardly, and consequently offensively;
for fear of a momentary joke, not considering, as
I ought to have done, that the very people who would
have joked upon me at first, would have esteemed me
the more for it afterward. An example explains
a rule best: Suppose you were walking in the
Tuileries with some fine folks, and that you should
unexpectedly meet your old acquaintance, little crooked
Grierson; what would you do? I will tell you
what you should do, by telling you what I would now
do in that case myself. I would run up to him,
and embrace him; say some kind of things to him, and
then return to my company. There I should be
immediately asked: ’Mais qu’est ce
que c’est donc que ce petit Sapajou que vous