to co-operate with me. Whether, by making it wholesome,
I shall make it pleasant to you, I am not sure.
Emetics and cathartics I shall not administer, because
I am sure you do not want them; but for alteratives
you must expect a great many; and I can tell you that
I have a number of NOSTRUMS, which I shall communicate
to nobody but yourself. To speak without a metaphor,
I shall endeavor to assist your youth with all the
experience that I have purchased, at the price of seven
and fifty years. In order to this, frequent reproofs,
corrections, and admonitions will be necessary; but
then, I promise you, that they shall be in a gentle,
friendly, and secret manner; they shall not put you
out of countenance in company, nor out of humor when
we are alone. I do not expect that, at nineteen,
you should have that knowledge of the world, those
manners, that dexterity, which few people have at nine-and-twenty.
But I will endeavor to give them you; and I am sure
you will endeavor to learn them, as far as your youth,
my experience, and the time we shall pass together,
will allow. You may have many inaccuracies (and
to be sure you have, for who has not at your age?)
which few people will tell you of, and some nobody
can tell you of but myself. You may possibly have
others, too, which eyes less interested, and less vigilant
than mine, do not discover; all those you shall hear
of from one whose tenderness for you will excite his
curiosity and sharpen his penetration. The smallest
inattention or error in manners, the minutest inelegance
of diction, the least awkwardness in your dress and
carriage, will not escape my observation, nor pass
without amicable correction. Two, the most intimate
friends in the world, can freely tell each other their
faults, and even their crimes, but cannot possibly
tell each other of certain little weaknesses; awkwardnesses,
and blindnesses of self-love; to authorize that unreserved
freedom, the relation between us is absolutely necessary.
For example, I had a very worthy friend, with whom
I was intimate enough to tell him his faults; he had
but few; I told him of them; he took it kindly of
me, and corrected them. But then, he had some
weaknesses that I could never tell him of directly,
and which he was so little sensible of himself, that
hints of them were lost upon him. He had a scrag
neck, of about a yard long; notwithstanding which,
bags being in fashion, truly he would wear one to
his wig, and did so; but never behind him, for, upon
every motion of his head, his bag came forward over
one shoulder or the other. He took it into his
head too, that he must occasionally dance minuets,
because other people did; and he did so, not only extremely
ill, but so awkward, so disjointed, slim, so meagre,
was his figure, that had he danced as well as ever
Marcel did, it would have been ridiculous in him to
have danced at all. I hinted these things to him
as plainly as friendship would allow, and to no purpose;
but to have told him the whole, so as to cure him,