Next to graceful speaking, a genteel carriage, and a graceful manner of presenting yourself, are extremely necessary, for they are extremely engaging:  and carelessness in these points is much more unpardonable in a young fellow than affectation.  It shows an offensive indifference about pleasing.  I am told by one here, who has seen you lately, that you are awkward in your motions, and negligent of your person:  I am sorry for both; and so will you be, when it will be too late, if you continue so some time longer.  Awkwardness of carriage is very alienating; and a total negligence of dress and air is an impertinent insult upon custom and fashion.  You remember Mr.------very well, I am sure, and you must consequently remember his, extreme awkwardness:  which, I can assure you, has been a great clog to his parts and merit, that have, with much difficulty, but barely counterbalanced it at last.  Many, to whom I have formerly commended him, have answered me, that they were sure he could not have parts, because he was so awkward:  so much are people, as I observed to you before, taken by the eye.  Women have great influence as to a man’s fashionable character; and an awkward man will never have their votes; which, by the way, are very numerous, and much oftener counted than weighed.  You should therefore give some attention to your dress, and the gracefulness of your motions.  I believe, indeed, that you have no perfect model for either at Leipsig, to form yourself upon; but, however, do not get a habit of neglecting either; and attend properly to both, when you go to courts, where they are very necessary, and where you will have good masters and good models for both.  Your exercises of riding, fencing, and dancing, will civilize and fashion your body and your limbs, and give you, if you will but take it, ’l’air d’un honnete homme’.

I will now conclude with suggesting one reflection to you; which is, that you should be sensible of your good fortune, in having one who interests himself enough in you, to inquire into your faults, in order to inform you of them.  Nobody but myself would be so solicitous, either to know or correct them; so that you might consequently be ignorant of them yourself; for our own self-love draws a thick veil between us and our faults.  But when you hear yours from me, you may be sure that you hear them from one who for your sake only desires to correct them; from one whom you cannot suspect of any, partiality but in your favor; and from one who heartily wishes that his care of you, as a father, may, in a little time, render every care unnecessary but that of a friend.  Adieu.

P. S. I condole with you for the untimely and violent death of the tuneful Matzel.

LETTER XLIII

London, July 1, O. S. 1748.