your friends at first sight, or even upon a short
acquaintance. Real friendship is a slow grower
and never thrives unless engrafted upon a stock of
known and reciprocal merit. There is another
kind of nominal friendship among young people, which
is warm for the time, but by good luck, of short duration.
This friendship is hastily produced, by their being
accidentally thrown together, and pursuing the course
of riot and debauchery. A fine friendship, truly;
and well cemented by drunkenness and lewdness.
It should rather be called a conspiracy against morals
and good manners, and be punished as such by the civil
magistrate. However, they have the impudence and
folly to call this confederacy a friendship.
They lend one another money, for bad purposes; they
engage in quarrels, offensive and defensive for their
accomplices; they tell one another all they know, and
often more too, when, of a sudden, some accident disperses
them, and they think no more of each other, unless
it be to betray and laugh, at their imprudent confidence.
Remember to make a great difference between companions
and friends; for a very complaisant and agreeable
companion may, and often does, prove a very improper
and a very dangerous friend. People will, in
a great degree, and not without reason, form their
opinion of you, upon that which they have of your
friends; and there is a Spanish proverb, which says
very justly, tell me who you live
with and I will tell you who
you are. One may fairly suppose, that
the man who makes a knave or a fool his friend, has
something very bad to do or to conceal. But, at
the same time that you carefully decline the friendship
of knaves and fools, if it can be called friendship,
there is no occasion to make either of them your enemies,
wantonly and unprovoked; for they are numerous bodies:
and I, would rather choose a secure neutrality, than
alliance, or war with either of them. You may
be a declared enemy to their vices and follies, without
being marked out by them as a personal one. Their
enmity is the next dangerous thing to their friendship.
Have a real reserve with almost everybody; and have
a seeming reserve with almost nobody; for it is very
disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not
to be so. Few people find the true medium; many
are ridiculously mysterious and reserved upon trifles;
and many imprudently communicative of all they know.
The next thing to the choice of your friends, is the choice of your company. Endeavor, as much as you can, to keep company with people above you: there you rise, as much as you sink with people below you; for (as I have mentioned before) you are whatever the company you keep is. Do not mistake, when I say company above you, and think that I mean with regard to, their birth: that is the least consideration; but I mean with regard to their merit, and the light in which the world considers them.