had walked past him, and his world was changed for
ever. Was it an illusion of light that made
her whole spirit seem to shine through a half-startled
glance? Or a little trick of gait, a swaying,
seductive balance of body; was it the way her hair
waved back, or a subtle scent, as of a flower?
What was it? The wife of a squire of those parts,
with a house in London. Her name? It doesn’t
matter—she has been long enough dead.
There was no excuse—not an ill-treated
woman; an ordinary, humdrum marriage, of three years
standing; no children. An amiable good fellow
of a husband, fifteen years older than herself, inclined
already to be an invalid. No excuse! Yet,
in one month from that night, Winton and she were
lovers, not only in thought but in deed. A thing
so utterly beyond “good form” and his
sense of what was honourable and becoming in an officer
and gentleman that it was simply never a question of
weighing pro and con, the cons had it so completely.
And yet from that first evening, he was hers, she
his. For each of them the one thought was how
to be with the other. If so—why did
they not at least go off together? Not for want
of his beseeching. And no doubt, if she had survived
Gyp’s birth, they would have gone. But
to face the prospect of ruining two men, as it looked
to her, had till then been too much for that soft-hearted
creature. Death stilled her struggle before it
was decided. There are women in whom utter devotion
can still go hand in hand with a doubting soul.
Such are generally the most fascinating; for the power
of hard and prompt decision robs women of mystery,
of the subtle atmosphere of change and chance.
Though she had but one part in four of foreign blood,
she was not at all English. But Winton was English
to his back-bone, English in his sense of form, and
in that curious streak of whole-hearted desperation
that will break form to smithereens in one department
and leave it untouched in every other of its owner’s
life. To have called Winton a “crank”
would never have occurred to any one—his
hair was always perfectly parted; his boots glowed;
he was hard and reticent, accepting and observing
every canon of well-bred existence. Yet, in that,
his one infatuation, he was as lost to the world and
its opinion as the longest-haired lentil-eater of
us all. Though at any moment during that one
year of their love he would have risked his life and
sacrificed his career for a whole day in her company,
he never, by word or look, compromised her.
He had carried his punctilious observance of her “honour”
to a point more bitter than death, consenting, even,
to her covering up the tracks of their child’s
coming. Paying that gambler’s debt was
by far the bravest deed of his life, and even now its
memory festered.